Why Me? Reasons Thieves Target You In Public

As my readers and YouTube followers already know, I was once robbed at a Walmart store. The reason I do not return to Walmart is not only the emotional trauma, (I was with my 2 week old baby), but also it was the lack of concern by the Walmart employees. The only concern the manager showed was when I began demanding to see the surveillance videos and to see a police officer. He refused so I began shouting and bringing attention to myself. Cell phones everywhere came out and were handed to me. Suddenly, the manager cared, going so far as to intercept the police officer as he appeared in the store. To this day, Walmart has refused to surrender the footage of the camera that was directly over my head the time of the robbery. I will never shop at Walmart again. I also will never be a victim of this crime again.

As with any traumatizing event, I reflected on it once I was calm. I wanted to know what if anything I did to bring about this incident. I'm not saying being robbed is the victim's fault. There are however, certain things people do that make it easier for thieves to target them. These are the mistakes we all make while out shopping.

1. Your Purse - Ever notice how a man is almost never robbed in a store? The reason isn't the fear of a man's size or combat ability. The reason is that a man typically carries a wallet. Stealing a wallet requires close contact with the victim. Stealing a purse does not. Women wear their purses like giant, leather, colorful bull's eyes on their arms. Once you go the store, you need a place to put that behemoth. It always goes into the basket, the one thing you turn your back on frequently. If you must wear a purse to go shopping, plain is better. Carry a black or nude colored bag. It's less obvious. Smaller is the key. Something you don't even notice on your arm and therefore have no need to set it down. Go old school and use a shoulder strap and drape it across your body. You can remove the strap once you're done shopping. Empty out your purse. You don't need your make-up bag, your full sized brush, your snacks and your receipts from the last 8 months. You don't need your checkbook or your baby photos. All you need are the cards you used every week and your ID. Being a mom means you may be using your purse as a diaper bag as well. That's understandable. But if at all possible, carry a man's wallet when you go shopping rather than a purse at all.

2. Your Children - It doesn't matter if they behave or not, they make you a target. You care about your children more than you care about your purse, So you put them up front and your purse in the back. Instant target. How about the person looking to take your child and not your purse. They reach for the purse, you reach for the thief, a kidnapper comes for your child. It happened to me. I let the money go of course. Think of how your child begins to scream and yell and throw a tantrum? Your jacket pockets are now exposed. If someone is bumping into you you're not likely to notice while in the midst of ranging a 2 year old. How about when you get into your car. You open the trunk and your child is sitting in the cart. Which do you remove first, your purse, your child, your items? Most women remove their bags first since they are staying with the cart and they assume their child is too difficult to snatch. All it takes is the perception of taking your child to distract you from your purse and your bags. The best order to unload your cart is as follows. Remove your purse and child at the same time and put them in the car. These are the things that matter most to you. Your purchase receipts should always be in your purse and not your bags. You should always choose a store with video surveillance when possible. And when all else fails, maintain renter's or homeowner's insurance. Car insurance covers damage or theft of the car, renter's and homeowner's insurance covers the items that were inside. Therefore, if your cart is stolen with everything in it, you can have it replaced.

3. Your Heels - Thieves like to go for the quick and easy grab. No one likes to rob a man because it is perceived that a man can run faster, hit harder and is more likely to fight than a woman. You super high, platform heels are screaming, "I can't run after you if you snatch my purse." Granted, you shouldn't chase someone that is stealing from you because they may have a weapon, but consider the fact that the average thief is counting on you standing there doing nothing. If you give chase, even for a moment, they are more likely to drop the bag they stole from you.

4. Your Cell Phone - We all hate automated phone systems. But there is a more in-depth reason to hate them. You enter all of your information into the system and a representative comes to the phone. What does the representative do next? They verify you all over again by asking you information that is essential to ID theft. There you are dealing with a simple tech support issue while you shop, multi-tasking. Then without thinking you are speaking the last four digits of your social security number, the answer to your security question, your name, date of birth, address, phone number, etc. If you think for one second that there isn't someone ear hustling this information, you may have already been targeted. Also, consider the fact that you already entered this information using the keypad on your phone. If a thief gets hold of your phone, all of that information is right there on the phone. Stay off of your phone whenever possible when shopping.

5. Your Keyless Entry - I see it all of the time, and I still can't figure out why people do it. They are at least 12 feet away from their car when they unlock it with the remote. If you have a push to start car, the thief just hit the jackpot. If you don't they are in the car now, and can wait for you to climb in before the do as they please. Keyless entry also unlocks all of the doors on your car, but all you need is to get into the trunk. Wait until you are standing next to your car to open the door, lock it once the trunk is open to prevent anyone from climbing in while you load the trunk.

So, leave the purse at home and carry a wallet. If your children are being too wily, leave them at home. Stay off of your phone. Wear sensible shoes and don't unlock your car until you are standing next to it.

My 12 Month Organic Journey

One year ago I made the new year's resolution to switch to an organic way of life. I had already begun making my own green cleaning supplies in 2006 as a reaction to my son's bleach and chemical sensitivities. My daughter was born in 2010 and presented with the same sensitivities on a grander scale. So I decided to go beyond cleaning supplies and herbal remedies and change the way we ate altogether. Here is an overview of that first year transition.

January

The first thing I noticed was the price of organic food in the local Savemart. The only organic food there was Kashi cereal, bell peppers, granola snacks, and tomatoes. The bell peppers were $3.49 each pepper. The non-organic was $0.99 each. The organic produce was frequently spoiled and the produce that wasn't spoiled had sold out. I was very nervous about this decision.

February

I found an organic produce section in the same grocery store. There was tofu, bell peppers, potatoes, tomatoes, and the usual granola cereals and snacks. The dairy case still didn't have organic eggs but there was organic milk by the gallon in one brand only for $6.05 compared to the non-organic 2 gallons for $5.

March

There were organic eggs by the dozen for a dollar more than the non-organic. They were brown eggs so I felt special. The milk was now only $1 more per gallon but it was always sold out. It was available in whole and non-fat only. I signed up for WIC and found that the only organic produce covered by the program vouchers was frozen organic vegetables and beans. These items were not available in my store. I hadn't had fast food since December. It was getting difficult to stick to only organic because of a lack of options. I purchased a Costco membership and found an organic haven. There were 2 gallons of organic milk for less than non-organic. There were onions, bell peppers, ketchup, tomatoes, potatoes, apples, cheeses, yogurt, snacks, coffee, 2 dozen pack of eggs, chicken breasts, whole chickens and cotton clothing.

April

I found interesting biological side effects. The children and I made the full crossover but my husband did not as he spent most of his time at my in-laws homes. The children and I found that our bodies had undergone a...purge. You know what happens after you eat McDonald's? We went through that. We began to sweat more than before. I lost 10 pounds without exercising. My skin began to glow. I actually thought I was pregnant for a moment. I had more energy and needed half as much coffee. Our taste buds changed. My children did not like the taste of most non-organic foods any more. My son said to me, "This chicken doesn't taste like a chicken. It tastes...like a salty meat." My friend thought she had over-seasoned the chicken but the fact was that my son could taste the salt water injection. My daughter would break out in a rash and get very cranky if we ate a non-organic meal. Fast food was murder on our stomachs. Just the smell of Carl's Jr. made us ill. The children gained weight as they were under a doctor's care, but I lost weight because of my loss of appetite. I was more aware of when I was full. The only beauty treatment I needed was Noxema and lotion. My skin was radiant.

My husband on the other hand had an allergy cold that hit like the flu. It lasted 3 weeks. He and I both have sever nasal allergies. He was completely incapacitated by this cold. I didn't even have a sniffle on a high pollen day. I noticed that all of my in-laws and my husband had been sick four times since January with each illness lasting at least two weeks. They use hand sanitizer religiously. I am staunchly against it. He gained eight pounds.

May

We were no longer able to eat out, not even at a Chili's or a Denny's. The smell would make us sick and the food didn't taste right. These were once our favorite places. My Costco membership was wonderful I found organic seasonings, flour and sugar to be a great new addition. Salads, juices, and soft drinks were also organic now. Whatever produce that was in season was now available in organic. As a result, we ate more fruits and vegetables. We used less sugar and seasonings. Although I had WIC, I never used it. Nothing was covered and the items that were covered were not available. I eliminated sugar cereal and within two weeks my son's focus and school had improved by 100%, no exaggeration there. The local Savemart was now carrying a steady flow of organic milk in all sizes and percentages of milk fat. There was now "natural" peanut butter by Jiff and Skippy but it looked highly suspicious. There were a number of other non-perishable foods that were organic but I'd say less than 20% of the store was organic. There were now organic bananas for $1 more than the non-organic.

June

I suffer from Cyclothymia and found mood swings an difficult thing to control. However, lately, they had stabilized. It was so noticeable, that I brought it up with a therapist. I was afraid that I was in some sort of calm before the storm. I hadn't recognized this mood shift. Blood was drawn at a doctor visit and we found that although my lifestyle is still sedentary, my blood sugar was still low but my hypoglycemia was gone. My anemia was also gone as was my daughter's. My doctor had never seen me so healthy. I was no longer wearing make-up. and my hair was thicker and longer. People suspected I was using prenatal vitamins but I wasn't. I had planted an organic garden to help curb the costs of organic produce. It was a lot more work than I had anticipated but I was able to grow bell peppers, tomatoes, jalapenos, basil and other herbs with ease. This coupled with the organic groceries I bought encouraged me to cook fresh meals daily. I still had not been sick this year yet. My husband had come down with a stomach virus he caught from his sister.

Not only were my children and I never sick, but we never caught anything either. My daughter's twin cousins and come to a language class with runny noses and stomach viruses. My daughter, although she shared food with them, never got sick. We also, slept better and were better focused throughout the day. It felt wrong to sleep late at this stage.

July

All of our produce, dairy, and condiments were now organic. All of our drinks were organic. This was very expensive but I made adjustments to accommodate this new lifestyle. I complained to the Savemart manager and stopped shopping there for awhile to help emphasize my unhappiness. The produce department was now 25% organic. Only the produce that wasn't in season was overpriced. I learned that the bananas took longer to ripen and they were sweeter. I lost another five pounds and my sex drive had begun to increase. This was probably due to my consistently balanced mood. The 100+ temperatures did not bother me anymore. I simply drank more water.

My husband caught on to the health benefits of our way of eating. He noticed that when he spent a weekend with his parents, he would feel so ill that it was a waste of time visiting in the first place. It turns out, that non-organic food was making him sick as it did for me and the children just months before. He decided to stay with the organic food.

Our children had developed great palettes. My son could identify what he was eating by the taste of it. Both children were perfectly manageable. My daughter rarely threw a tantrum. I began to have trouble with my vision. I went in for an optometry visit and found that I no longer needed glasses. When I listened to my IPod, I actually had to turn the volume down now. I have an eidetic memory. It seemed to improve now that my diet was strictly organic. My reflexes improved and my hair continued to grow. I felt motivated to be physically active. I wanted to take walks and pick flowers now. Before, I just didn't have the energy to leave the house.

August

The cost of organic food had finally begun to cripple us. I had no choice but to go back to non-organic. We used our WIC vouchers and bought organic whenever possible. What a headache that was. We regularly had to bring out the manual to show the clerks that the vegetables and beans were allowed to be organic. It was like advertising to the world that we were poor. My mood began to falter slightly but I still felt normal. I gained two pounds and began to crave junk food. Once a week, I bought candy and chips so that whenever the urge struck me I could partake without guilt. I began to have mild breakouts and suddenly athlete's foot was a problem for me. I had my first allergy attack. However, the organic coffee I still had in the cupboards seemed to shut down my allergies within 24 hours of the first cup of coffee. If I didn't drink one cup a day, my allergies attacked at full strength. I couldn't afford to go to the doctor and get a prescription for nasal spray. So I had to maintain the coffee diet. This was a direct contradiction to my already upbeat mood. It made me anxious and my anxiety attacks returned. I began taking St. John's Wort.

My daughter began throwing epic tantrums, partly because she was two, partly because she had gas and tummy aches. In fact, I avoided the children's bathroom due to the smell. It was like they were fed McDonald's everyday. Neither child was able to sleep through the night. My daughter began to snore and my son began to wet the bed. I developed insomnia. My husband gained five more pounds.

September

My son found his temper harder to control at school. He refused to eat the food served at school. He claimed that it didn't taste like it should. I went to school with him one day and I instantly understood what he meant. The chicken didn't taste like chicken the vegetables didn't taste right, and there was no fruit. I could afford to buy organic jelly and bread, but there still was no organic peanut butter. If I only drank water, there was money for organic juice boxes. Organic apple juice was not allowed by WIC. So I used the vouchers to get the milk and juice that WIC covered, and sold it to my friends at a discount so I could buy organic. I began making things that I had grown accustomed to purchasing to save money. Pancake mix, biscuits, juices, pasta, stocks, pastries, were all made from scratch to leave money for other organic foods. The price of organic food had dropped dramatically and the freshness had improved. I lost the two pounds I gained but I was regularly exhausted. I didn't have the drive to do much of anything. I became pessimistic but not depressed. My memory faltered and I could not focus on anything anymore.

October

My began to adjust to the loss of organic foods. Thanks to Costco, I still had organic condiments. I also found it cheaper to purchase organic meats and milk from Costco. So the organic to non-organic ratio was improving. My friends had begun to take on the organic challenge. It was nice to see the change in their lives. I found that I did not like the taste of non-organic food, neither did my children. I chose not to eat most times. This caused my stomach to shrink. I was unable to eat large meals anymore. I lost another five pounds. I still had not been sick this year. My son caught a stomach virus. But it lasted 24 hours. The first day, he had a fever and a stomach ache. By morning, he was fine, no fever or discomfort. Our dairy and produce was once again organic as the prices had come down. I had sold some items that I left wasting away in storage and used the money to stock up on goods. My energy level began to improve and my optimism had returned.

November

I lost 5 more pounds for a total of 12 pounds lost. My appetite did not return and I began a rigid workout routine. I had a healthy level of energy. I began to read more. I was no longer lacking sleep or suffering from poor sleep. My son and daughter regained their focus. My daughter's tantrums continued but only when she was tired. She was your typical two year old. I was able to afford organic foods again. Although the grocery store and about 30% of it's products listed as organic, Costco showed them no mercy in the competition. The only items in my Costco that weren't organic were junk food or precooked meals or meats. Once again our palettes were sensitive, our minds were focused. No one had been sick. I still did not need glasses. I was reading five books a month and I was no longer leading a sedentary lifestyle. I was consistently happy and had chosen to eliminate combative people from my life. My patience grew dramatically. It was very difficult to upset me. My sense of smell was heightened along with my hearing and sight. I began to see muscle definition and did not hit a plateau in my weight loss. We still had an aversion to fast food. We would eat it if we had no choice but it would make us very sick afterward. I began taking food with us to avoid this.

December

I found a system that allowed me to maintain an organic lifestyle . If it could be made from scratch, I made it. This saved money and allowed me to purchase more organic foods. I shopped around, any organic stores within a five mile radius was now in my IPhone. I could perform price checks before I went out to find which store had the best deal. I froze meals so that during those hard times, I could thaw out a meal and make the same groceries last longer. I sought out organic restaurants to replace Denny's and Chili's. My friends were now making the organic transition so, eating at their homes was nice. I provided my babysitter with organic food so that my children would have the same diet at her house. We still have not been sick this year. My daughter had a sniffle and mild congestion for 24 hours. I didn't medicate her. I flushed her system with water and she was fine. It turns out, she was catching her cousin's cold. Our bodies seemed to be able to fight illness better than family members who used hand sanitizer and ate non-organic food.

Have you switched to an organic food lifestyle? Tell me all about it! 

Theredhousewife@yahoo.com
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Theredhousewife on Twitter. 

December Childrens Book Picks

Llama Llama Holiday Drama

This addition to the Llama Llama series is seasonally appropriate. In keeping with the traditions set by the previous books, Llama Llama Home With Mama, Llama Llama Mad At Mama, the little llama spends the day shadowing his mama and learning as he goes along. This book is as entertaining as the others and your child will enjoy the colorful illustrations. For the new reader in your home it utilizes many of the December sight words that are listed in my last blog. It is just simple enough of a read to hold every child's attention when you read it aloud and not too simple to leave your new reader without a challenge. This book has more challenging words and longer sentences than the others in the series.

Bunnicula and Friends: The Fright Before Christmas

This is another book from a series. For those who are wondering, Bunnicula is a bunny that the other characters believe is a vampire. Hence the name Bunnicula. This level three book includes chapters, longer sentences, contractions and two to three syllable words. The story presents children with the idea of interpretation. The reader will learn how a misunderstanding can occur when statements are taken literally. The frightening aspect of the story is very gentle. It is presented in the form of the Christmas ghost and something going bump in the night. I would recommend familiarizing your child with the story of Scrooge so that the references will make sense to him or her. This book also utilizes about 80% of the December sight words listed in my last blog. It is a great advanced first grade reader but it is also an exciting read-aloud book if you are an expressive reader to your children.

Sight Words for December

This is a list of the sight words my son brought home from school for the month of December. It has been combined with the list of sight words for gifted first graders. My son is transitioning to a school for children gifted in math and sciences. You child need not be in a gifted class to learn these words. Simply choose reading material that contains these words to expose them to your child thus making it easier for him or her to learn to read them when the are presented to him in class in the future.





Weather & Nature
snow
fog
rain
cloud
cloud
cloudy
wind
windy
winter
frost
snowman
tree

Capitalization
Christmas
Hanukkah
Kwanzaa
December
Santa Claus
Yule

Objects
happy
holiday
jingle
bell
present
ribbon
box
card
toy
nice
naughty
family
log
house chimney
ornament
light
wreath

Colors
red
yellow
gold
blue
silver
green


Food
gingerbread
cookie
cinnamon
apple
pie
cake
cocoa
hot
dinner
turkey
ham
potato
egg
nog

Tablet Talk

It's gift giving time and all your family and friends want are tablets. With so many versions of the same brands, it's difficult to determine which one is worth the money. Here is a breakdown of the most popular tablets and whether or not it's best for your giftee.

Apple IPad
$399.99 Minimum price

First let me say, I am a die hard Apple fan. That being said, I do not recommend this tablet to anyone. Unless you are a business or a full-time student, there is no need for this tablet. It is a bigger screen with more memory. You can do simple word processing if necessary. I've seen my Uverse technician use this with AT&T software. I've seen an interior designer use this with a client. I've even seen them used in Tribal TANF offices. But for the regular family member, there is no need to spend this amount of money on a tablet. Most people have smartphones. So you don't need the camera or space to save the photos and movies you want. If you use it to read, there are readers as low as $79 available. If you use it to watch movies, there are cheaper tablets with HD screens. It is also a major commodity for thieves. Take it from an Apple fan, you're paying for the name.

Apple IPad Mini
$329.99 Minimum price

Considering the price difference between the regular IPad and the Mini IPad, this really isn't worth the money either. True the price is more comparable to the Android tablets on the market. But those tablets are full sized. Why pay more for a Mini IPad than you would for a full sized Android tablet? Again, You're paying for the name.

Google Nexus 7
$199.99 Minimum price

About the same size as the Apple IPad Mini, this tablet is perfect for the"PC not MAC" person. It's an Android tablet at a reasonable price. It runs mostly Google programs (Google Maps, Gmail, Google +). You download your books and media from Amazon and Barnes & Noble. This is more user friendly and cost effective. There is no rear facing camera. Honestly, you won't miss it. Most people use their phones anyway.

Kindle Fire HD
$199.99

I have the first Kindle Fire. All I kept saying is, "I wish the internet were faster. I wish it had a camera to Skype. I wish the speakers were better." They heard me. It is the only tablet with Dolby speakers. It is also the first tablet with dual-band, dual-antenna Wi-Fi. It makes almost 50% faster than the IPad. Many are calling it the best 7" tablet on the market. 

If the Apple IPad Mini were $199, I would choose it before any tablet because it is an Apple and I am a fan. With the exception of my Kindle Fire, I have an all Apple home. But I would not pay more for an Apple tablet, the computer, yes. I am not a fan of Google either, so I would purchase the Kindle Fire HD. But considering the fact that I am usually watching and listening to movies with headphones on my tablet, I can continue to use my regular Kindle Fire without a complaint. I have a smart phone so I don't need the camera. I don't need the extra memory, I have the Cloud. I also recommend it for parents who want their children to have an e-reader that grows with them. You can even lock them out of the internet to keep them from signing onto a questionable website.

The End of Weekend Cleaning

So many women email me and ask me what they can do to keep from cleaning all weekend. They ask me how to get their weekends back because they're tire of cleaning all day. There are many different ways to accomplish this based on the way your life is organized. But here is how I keep from cleaning all day Saturday or Sunday.



Monday

The first Monday of the month I clean the carpet in my living room. I dust the bookshelves and electronics. I take everything out the living room that is not supposed to be there and separate it into a designated bin for each family member. When everyone comes home, they can put away their own crap.

Tuesday

The first Tuesday of the month I clean the dining area carpets. I dust the chandelier and put away anything that is out of place.

Wednesday

The first Wednesday of the month I clean the carpet in the children's room. I do their laundry and put it away. I never do more loads of laundry than I have the time or energy to put away in that moment. I remake their beds with fresh sheets and dust. I also clean their bathroom.

Thursday

I mop all of the floors in the house. I do this every week.  I declutter the kitchen and refrigerator.

Friday

I don't do a damn thing in the house. I might clean my car out if I am going somewhere. But other than the usual touch ups, I don't do any cleaning.

Saturday

My bathroom is the cleanest in the house. So while I'm getting ready, I clean it. While my children are napping, I do my own laundry and and clean my carpet on the first Saturday of the month. I wake up between 6 am and 7:30 am depending on my children. I am done with my room by the time we leave the house at 9:45am.

Sunday

I don't do anything. I make my children clean up their own room and touch up their own bathroom.


This is why I am never cleaning house all weekend. Doing a little everyday allows you more time to do other things. Daily touch ups prevent a 12 hour day of scouring something that could have been cleaned up days earlier. I also keep a bin in the living room for all of my toddler's toys to be thrown into at the end of playtime. It's less work than carting them all the way back to her bedroom just to see her drag them back out. I keep everyone's laundry separate so that if only one person's laundry needs to be done, I don't have to sort through an entire house of laundry to find it. Also, it allows me to wait until I have more time and energy to do the other laundry. By touching up the floors at least every other day I find that the bucket mopping is less labor intensive. Cleaning the carpets at least once a month prevents irreversible damage and make your house look cleaner that it is.

Do what ever works for you. Just make sure you divide your chores among a five day period. And of course, delgate!

What Moms Want Everyone To Know

No Means No

You are at the bank and a child wants a free sucker. The mother tells the child no. Along comes a stranger that has heard her deny your child this piece of candy. They bend down and hand the child a piece of candy anyway. Here is what the mother of that child is thinking.
     1. If I wanted my child to have the candy, I never would have said no in the first place.
     2. By giving my child that candy, you have inadvertently taught my child to accept candy from strangers.
     3. You have no idea what dietary limits my child has. What if what you just gave him makes him sick?
     4. You are undermining my authority as a parent. I said no, that should be the end of it.

Always respect a parent's wishes. They know what's best for their child. You have no right to grant permission to have or do anything of which a parent has explicitly denied. It teaches a child that if mom says no, someone else will say yes. You have now shown this child to ignore his mother's authority. 

Mind Your Business

You are at the grocery store and you turn the corner down the cereal isle. You hear a woman speaking sternly with her child. She says, "Stop it, right now. Do NOT make me take you outside." The child seems to be recovering from hysterics or at the very least a crying fit. You don't like what the mother is saying to the child so you stand by and watch or decide to talk to the child to lighten the mood. Here is what the mother would like you to know.
     1. You have no idea why this child is in trouble and you are therefore incapable of determining the appropriate tone I should take when resolving this issue.
     2.  I finally get my child to calm down after throwing an epic temper tantrum after I have told him for the fourteenth time in three minutes that he could not have any sugar cereal. Here you come giving him an audience, thus encouraging him to drag out the tantrum even longer.

When you come upon a child that is in the midst of discipline, play deaf and blind. This deprives the child of an audience. It is very embarrassing for the adult to have to publicly discipline their child. In today's society, a mother is constantly concerned both about someone accusing her of abuse, and someone confronting her for not disciplining her child enough. A mother is not free to be a mother under those circumstances. As long as there is no abuse taking place, you should allow the mother the freedom to do what she feels is necessary to solve the problem. Some discipline must take place publicly to discourage public meltdowns by the child. Ironically, it is those who join in on the discipline and take the mother's side who offer the most help.

I once came upon a mother with twin toddlers and a son about two to three years older that them. He was not listening to her instructions. I stayed out of the situation to allow her to parent. But then the child knocked all of the cans on the shelf to the floor in a raging fit. The mother looked like she was about to literally break his neck for it. I intervened. "Pick-it-up...nooow." I said in my Amittyville Horror voice, leaning down over the child. "Don't you ever embarrass your mother in public again." The child was caught off guard. Strangers were supposed to step in and save him from punishment not call him on his bad behavior. The mother was grateful and the child behaved for the remainder of the shopping trip. I stepped in because I could see that the power struggle was about to escalate to a potentially unhealthy level. But in intervening, I maintained the mother's authority and reaffirmed the expectation of the respect he owed her.

Stranger Danger

You see the cutest kid you have ever seen walking down the street with her mother. You can't resist the temptation to talk to her. You say hello, and ask her name. The more you talk the closer the mother holds the child. You sense that she doesn't want you talking to her child but you don't understand why. Here is what the mother is thinking.
     1. You are a stranger. You have no business approaching my child.
     2. How can I teach my child about stranger danger if you're in her face talking to her when you should be talking to me?

I know that some children are so adorable that you just want to love them, and pet them, and call them George. But your actions are that of a stranger. A small child lacks the ability to reason whether a person is a dangerous or safe stranger. Approaching a child and asking their name is placing them in a situation they are not equipped to handle. You are also forcing the mother to decide between being rude to you or allowing you, a stranger, to talk to her child. Consider the safety of the child before you approach her. Tell the mother how cute you find her to be. Ask the mother what the child's name is. Leave the child alone.