The Familiarity of the Amazon.com Workplace Scandal

Earlier this week, The New York Times reported that Amazon.com is one of the worst places to work. Upon reading about the conditions that made the employer so horrible in the first place, many Americans found they weren't learning anything new about the retail giant. Many working American could recount their own horror stories from their current and former employers. The CEO of Amazon.com, Jeff Bezos seemed shocked and appalled at the negative reviews that current and former employees gave his company. The New York Times quoted his response which included “I don’t recognize this Amazon and I very much hope you don’t, either.” But how could he not? There were so many detailed, horrendous complaints. Those however don't even account for the many complaints employees choose not to disclose for fear of retaliation. Although it is true that because some people are unhappy with a company, does not mean that the company is necessarily one of the worst. The concern is what made those few complaints about which we read, sound so horrible in the first place. One woman complained about her job dedication being in question simply because she had a baby. This is both misogynistic and discriminatory. I'm sure any Equal Employment Opportunities Commission (EEOC) will tell you, where one person has experienced discrimination or harassment, there most certainly will be another.

Before we paint Amazon.com as the devil of all employers, consider the number of large corporate organizations there are. Bank of America regularly receives awards for being one of the best places to work for women with children. Yet, many of the women terminated from employment were reportedly terminated for issues directly related to motherhood. Women found themselves terminated for tardiness, even if they were a mere 1 minute late, and absences in excess of 7 days. Bear in mind that a child who has contracted the chicken pox or the flu may be out of school for up to two weeks. Multiply that by more than one child, and you've lost your job before the first child has recovered. Yet, this is an organization that has been awarded for being the best employer for people with families.

Owens Valley Career Development Center, a tribal TANF organization prides itself on helping the Native American community become self-sufficient. They often offer "safe spaces" for employees to vent about issues that need to change to help the organization better achieve it's mission statement. "Safe spaces" are intended for employees to speak freely without fear of retaliation. However, the moment a member of tribal council is offended by an employee's honesty, they are terminated for "at-will" reasons. Over the past year there have been over 200 isolated complaints of sexual harassment, bullying, nepotism, public drunkenness, theft, and welfare fraud that resulted in whistleblowers being reprimanded or terminated. What many non-employees do not know, is that as a tribal entity, OVCDC is not bound by the labor laws that bind all other non-tribal companies. Many employees have complained that they never received their full final paychecks, have been wrongfully terminated, and have been barred from re-hire. There is no recourse for these people as tribes are sovereign nations and govern themselves. So even though you were interviewed, hired, employed, and even fired on non-tribal land, you as an American citizen are not protected by the United States labor laws. This is one of many reasons the State of California suffers such a high unemployment rate. Yet this organization is revered as one of the most successful tribal TANF organizations in the country.

This takes me back to my initial question. How could the CEO of an organization be so unaware of the atrocities taking place in their own company?

Bottlenecking

We all know there is a chain of command when filing a complaint against an employee or making suggestions regarding workplace or policy improvements. But what if the person to whom you are to direct these concerns doesn't send that information up the chain of command for their own selfish reasons? Several employees at OVCDC reported that they were reprimanded and saw stellar employees terminated for speaking out about policies and procedures in what was supposed to be a "safe space" free from retaliation. Members of tribal council reportedly did not like hearing about grievances for the first time in public. Rather than resolving the bottlenecking that prevented this information from getting to them in the first place, they allegedly chose to reprimand the whistle blower for saying anything at all. In the end, employees say that the issues where never resolved, the employees who caused the bottlenecking and caused other employees to be disgruntled in the first place remained employed, and the whistle blower are now collecting unemployment. All of this happens on a level that all but excludes the involvement of the CEO.

Bank of America employees reported that after filing complaints about harassment or bullying from their supervisors they found themselves being written up for offenses such as being late by 1 minute, being 1 account below their sales goal even though they were the top seller, and the style of their nails. By being written up, an employee may not transfer to another banking center or be promoted, no matter how petty the write up is, or willing the next supervisor is to overlook the write ups. All a supervisor need do after frivolously writing up an employee is request permission to terminate which is always granted when a write up is involved. None of this information will reach the CEO.

Bottlenecking is a result of policies designed to streamline minor issues without them having to take up the time of corporate level employees. The CEO is paid the largest salary but they don't necessarily do the most work. Lower level supervisors are to resolve ground level issues. Human Resources is designed to resolve employee issues that may result in litigation. More often times then not, the resolution is termination under the at-will law. No employee issue should ever reach the CEO with Bottleneck Polices in place. The television show Undercover Boss was a success because CEOs could talk to their ground level employees first hand and improve their company's image. This show circumvented the Bottleneck Policy that is so popular in the corporate world.

What Can I Do?

Every month I am asked about how to file a complaint without losing a job. The answer is, don't. When it comes to employment remember that you are free to quit at any time, though you may not be able to afford to do so. This is the attitude that you must always assume your employer will have. They don't always want to hear the truth. Sometimes they know the truth and have no intentions of making changes. They don't always care that you are being harassed, they do care if you are a litigious liability. No matter what they tell you, they want you to do the job for which you are being paid. You are not being paid to improve the company for which you work. If you want to see a change, work somewhere else, or start your own company that holds higher standards. If you make it your mission to stick to your job description, you will find longevity in your career. Very rarely is innovation adequately rewarded.

Even though you may not complain, document everything down to dates and times. You never know when you may need it.

Super Lice: How To Fight It

According to the Southern University Illinois, a species of what has been dubbed "super lice" has appeared in at least 25 states. This species of lice is resistant to over-the-counter treatment products. It has been recommended that should your child acquire lice, you should seek a prescription from your healthcare provider. The news of this new "super lice" is very disturbing. It's back to school time and the last thing you want to hear is that there is an outbreak of resistant lice. First let's dispel some of the myths about lice in general.

Myth

Having lice means you're dirty.

This isn't true at all. The cleanest, healthiest homes have become infested with lice. All that is needed is a living, human scalp to transport lice. Depending on how long the person has had lice, the nits will jump from one head to another. Think for a moment, you sit on sofas, movie theater seats, naptime at daycare, gave baby a piggyback ride. It is very easy for lice to jump from one person to another.

Myth

You have to delouse your dogs.

This is also false. Dogs and cats do not carry or transmit lice.

Myth

You have to use Rid to get rid of lice.

Not true. In fact, this is part of the reason that the "super lice" exist. Like all pests, if you use the same chemical treatment repeatedly it will become ineffective. This is either because they learn what to avoid or because they evolve and become immune to the treatment. Rid is expensive but is the most popular and recommended over-the-counter treatment for lice. But it isn't the only treatment.


Alternative treatments for lice

Tea Tree Oil

Another myth about lice is that African Americans can't catch them. This myth is rooted in some fact but is ultimately false. At the time this myth emerged, the general populous of African Americans used African hair oils and a product commonly known as hair grease. The main ingredient in these products, Tea Tree oil. The other popular ingredients are coconut and lavender oils. Tea Tree oil is a great disinfectant and it repels lice. This is why African American children rarely catch lice. Apply it directly to the scalp or add a few drops to a spray bottle of water and use daily to repel lice.

Lavender oil

It was reported less than five years ago that an entire school was so infested with lice, that it had to be shut down temporarily. They could not get a handle on the outbreak. But they learned that the "hippie" parents previously ridiculed by the PTA were the only ones not afflicted. It turned out, the parents that everyone laughed at had been treating their children's scalps with lavender oil regularly. The lice did not like the lavender oil and were moving on to the other children. The other children had used OTC treatments for lice so frequently, the lice became "super lice" and resisted the treatments.

Vinegar

Like tea tree oil, vinegar is a disinfectant. It kills and repels lice.

Other essential oils:
Cinnamon
Peppermint
Olive
Almond
Coconut
Neem

Removing Lice

The key to treating your child for lice is removing them from the scalp. The scalp is their food source. You will need a lice comb to comb out the eggs and the nits. Focus around the back of the head and near the ears, though they could be anywhere. Use a shower cap to suffocate full grown lice. This makes it easier to catch them and remove them. Add a few drops of oil to the lice comb rather than applying it to the hair. Combing out the nits is a slow and careful process. The oil soaks into the hair too quickly. Apply it to the comb instead as needed. Use any shampoo when done, but add some tea tree or lavender oil to it. The same as with OTC treatments, monitor daily and repeat the process.

Wash clothing or bedding in hot water or add bleach to kill any lice. For items that can't be washed, place in a bag and seal for 2 weeks. It will suffocate the lice, and they will have no access to food. Lysol Disinfectant Spray can be used on the mattress.

There are several websites with recipes for the home remedies for lice. Here is one of them.

Back To School Shopping On A Budget

It's that time of year again when children go back to school and stay-at-home parents can finally gets some free time. But before your children can go back to school, you need to replenish their wardrobe and purchase the list of supplies your child's school has undoubtedly sent to you by now. But what if your budget isn't flexible enough to afford what Americans spend an average of $300 per child on? Here are some money-saving tips.

 Currently there is a sale at Famous Footwear. Buy one, get one 50% off. Famous Footwear has always been my go to place for name brand athletic shoes. I found out that Foot Locker back to school sales are on leftover styles from the summer. At Famous Footwear the style are fall fashion so you won't be stuck with all white sneakers when the weather calls for all black. This saves you money by not needing to buy shoes again the coming winter. The sales reps are more helpful in finding the right fit. There's nothing worse than spending money on new shoes and having to replace them a month later. Joining their rewards program will save you an extra 15% on your bogo sale. I was able to buy $200 worth of youth sized Adidas and Converse for less than $100. When buying school shoes, don't try to get the coolest looking shoes. Go for the most versatile. All black shoes are a must. For my daughter I bought her a pair of boys Adidas in all black and a pair of girls Nike high tops in pink and gray. For the most part, her shoes will match every outfit. This saves so much more money.

Don't bother spending money on shoes at Target. They fall apart within days of purchase. The soles of the shoes are often glued on with a weak adhesive. Payless shoes are made to last longer. Not flopping shoe soles there. But the quality of the outer shoe is weak. The "leather" shoes peel, ripple, and images rub off with minimal effort. The shoe will last but will look run over in a month. There is one shoe that holds up well, Champion sneakers. I recommend purchasing them for a child that will be participating in sports.

Backpacks are another big expense. A basic Jansport backpack (the undisputed king of all school backpacks) can cost anywhere from $30 to $50 depending on the style and the store sale. I truly recommend sticking to this brand and no other. I still have mine from college and high school. They are virtually indestructible. They also come with a lifetime warranty. Every parent needs that. But don't spend extra money on the Hello Kitty and leopard print styles. One of the joys of owning a Jansport is decorating it your own way. Better to give your child the plainest version of the backpack with a pack of sharpies and a couple of rolls of decorative duct tape.

But if you miss the store sale and need one now, refer to Facebook. There are groups that are just for posting things you want to sell. People are selling the stylized versions of the backpacks for around $20. It really is a good buy new or used. Whatever you do, don't buy character backpacks. Children go through phases. Remember when Disney's Cars was all the rage? How about the remake of Cinderella? Does your child still want that gear you dropped all of that money on? Also, character backpacks are not meant to last. I bought my son, a die hard Batman fan, a Batman backpack shaped like the chest plate of the Batman costume. Halfway through the school year, the bottom had fallen out and the zipper had disappear. Not to mention it was difficult to spot my child in the sea of Batman backpacks. I handed down my old Jansport backpack and it shows no signs of wear. It does however have the Bat symbol etched onto it.

Check your community organizations for backpack giveaways. Churches, tribal organizations, boys and girls clubs all have some type of giveaway this time of year. Some school districts also have giveaways.

Despite all the hullabaloo about the non-gender specific signage in Target, it remains the best place to buy back to school clothing. Remember that with a Target gift card, debit, or credit card, you receive 5% off of your purchase. You also get a coupon in the mail for a $5 gift card if you spend $50. Target school supplies remain on sale through September, in case you need more time to figure out what you really need. How irritating is it to buy everything on the list the teacher sent home before summer only to be told the classroom provides everything? It happened to me last year.

Target is notorious for their $10 denim sales. This is the biggest reason to go. Target jeans last longer than the jeans from The Children's Place. They also have the lowest prices on the basic clothing pieces, solid tops, leggings, etc. Old Navy also has a fantastic denim sale. They last just as long as the Target brands in fact. But I chose not to purchase them simply because Target came with a 5% discount and a $5 gift card. That left enough money for some pencils and notebooks.

Don't waste money on character specific folders, notebooks, pencils etc. Your children will outgrow them, trade them, lose them and your money goes out of the window. Buy them a pack of stickers and let them go to town. Wait until school starts to buy binders and notebooks. Many classrooms provide these things.

Some other money saving tips:

• Go to Costco with your friends and family. Divide up your shopping lists and share the bulk products. I bought bulk binders one year, my friend bought pens, another bought notebooks. For the price of the binders, I got binders, pens and paper. I saved money.
• A way to make money is to put your warehouse store membership to work for you. Buy in bulk and sell to others at a price lower than other stores, yet higher than the unit price you paid.
• Raid the office. You know those office supplies no one likes or uses but your boss can't send back? Ask if you can "donate" them to neighborhood kids who need school supplies.
• Hand me downs are fantastic. Go for the denim, the sweaters and the coats.
• Have a closet party for your kids. Bring last years school clothing and supplies and let the kids take turns taking what they need for this school year. Or, the parents can do this while the kids have a play date.

When The Other Woman Contacts You

One of the most devastating things a wife can hear is that her husband has had or is having an affair. She has to consider breaking her vows in return by leaving or choose to stay. She wonders has he fathered children, is he leaving, does he have an STD? Her entire world can be shattered by such a revelation. Just as a woman is learning to cope with the betrayal of an affair, she may be contacted by the other woman. If you find yourself in this painful situation, here are some things to remember:

1. Let her do the talking - Understand that when the other woman decides to confront you with the affair, she is there to tell all that she believes you don't know. Let her do it. If your decision is to leave your husband, this information may be useful in a divorce. If you plan to stay you may want to know the details of the affair so that you know what to look for if you suspect it again. Listen to what she says happened just in case you learn something new about your husband he has been hiding from you. demand details. Ask for dates, times, locations, the story of how they met. Don't just question her about your husband. Question her about yourself. What does she know about you? Does she know what your children look like? Does she know what school they attend? You need to know these things in case the person confronting you is mentally unstable.

2. Abandon all trust - Remember, this woman is not your friend. She isn't confessing in order to help you. Ignorance is bliss. She is telling you because she is selfish and wants to clear her conscience. She also may want to seek revenge against your husband for ending the affair or not being truthful about his marital status to begin with. Her mission, whether or not she realizes it, is to destroy what you believe to be a happy marriage. Assume all that she says is a lie and is said with ill intent and malice. She has already proven herself to be untrustworthy by engaging in an affair with your husband. She will research your spouse and use the information she obtained to make the affair seem more involved than it actually was. She will also try to minimize her fault in the situation. Don't fall for this tactic.

3. Surrender no information - She will want to know if you knew about her. She will want to know if you and your husband are planning children or are making any other plans. She may ask if you two were separated or divorced. If this happens, she is doing two one of two things. One, she is sizing you up as competition. She wants to know if you have what it takes to take your husband back. Two, she is trying to find a way to end your marriage for sheer vengeance or to get rid of you so she can be with your husband. Don't answer questions about your marriage. Make her answer all of your questions. If she attempts to back out of answering questions, remind her that she came to you with news that she has taken part in the destruction of your marriage. Take the tone of "you owe me." If she didn't want to answer questions, she shouldn't have come to you.

4. Investigate her motive.- Just because someone tells you she's slept with your husband, doesn't make it a fact. Some women see married men as a good catch. If he's a good husband to you, he'll make a great one for her. After being turned down by your husband, she may want to come to you to find another way to get to him. Some women will go out of their way to convince you that your husband has been with them to break you apart. That leaves him available for her. Maybe she too is married and has been discovered having affairs with other men, or attempting to coax your husband into one. Either way, she is in danger of losing her husband while your husband stays happily married. She will want to even things out by destroying yours, even if it is all a lie. Remember, you cannot trust her.

5. Require proof - No woman has zero proof that she's been with a man. Somewhere she has text messages, FB messages, pics, something that can prove she's been with him. If she refuses to provide proof, you've uncovered her motive. Ask her questions only someone who's been with him would know. What size is his penis? Does he manscape? Does he have tattoos? Ask trick questions. If your spouse has no tattoos, ask what tattoo does he have on his back or stomach, some place she should have seen it. If her answer is anything other than, "he doesn't have a tattoo", she's lying. Match dates with his work schedule or bank card activity. If you catch her in a lie, do not confirm it. Remember, reveal nothing. If you let on that you've caught her in a lie, she will simply learn to tell a better lie to cause more confusion.

6. Remove her from your marriage - Regardless of her motives, her goal is to destroy your marriage. It matters not that she knew, or didn't know your husband is married. What matters is, she knows now. She has the option of completely ending the affair and never going near your husband again so that you can move on with your marriage. But instead, she chooses to tell you about it in hopes that you will leave him. So don't give her any information about your marriage. She doesn't deserve to know if you're separated, pregnant, your sex life is good or bad, or how many years you've been together. She may even ask you what you're going to do now that you know about the affair. That too is none of her business. Think about Jay-Z and Beyoncé. We all know that there was something going wrong in their marriage. But because neither person ever publically confirms or denies anything about their marriage, even when there's an elevator video, no one knows what is going on in the marriage of one of Hollywood's most public couples. Should you choose to forgive your spouse for a verified affair, the last thing you want is for everyone to know it happened in the first place. People will look down at you and assume you are a doormat. Some women will assume that because your spouse has already cheated on you, he will willing do it again with them. The world is filled with unscrupulous people. Keep your marriage private, even when it may be falling apart.

Your decision to forgive an affair or not is a personal and private one. It is not to be shared with anyone, certainly not the other woman. Remember that the other woman is the enemy no matter what lie she believes your husband told her. She is a threat to your marriage and cannot be trusted. Do not end an entire marriage on the word of an immoral person, but also, don't be blind to evidence that is being revealed right before you. Infidelity is a matter to be resolved between a husband and wife, not a wife and mistress.

Entrepreneurial Nightmare: When Family & Friends Don't Support You

 

 

The decision to become an entrepreneur will ultimately be very rewarding. As a California resident I have found that "at will" employment, though designed to prevent indentured servitude is being abused to wrongfully terminate the employment of thousands of people. Many companies mislead employees into believing that if they report matters such as sexual harassment, or offer solutions for opportunities for improvement, they will be valued and even rewarded. This deception has left many employees disgruntled or unemployed.

Self-employment places you in charge of your career. You directly effect change in your community as well as set, and maintain your own workplace standards. As an employee one may be required to complete trivial, meaningless tasks, the reasons for which they may never learn. As a business owner, every task you assign or complete is an integral part of helping your business succeed. But what is an entrepreneur really? The Oxford Dictionary defines it as "a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so." The fact that half of the definition is taking financial risks is crucial. It is this part of the definition that isolates entrepreneurs from their friends and families.

The Decision

Once you have made the decision to become self-employed, you immediately begin planning. You carefully choose your industry, your approach, and your degree of involvement in the day-to-day operations. Typically, a person is already unemployed or is a homemaker when this decision is made. An open schedule becomes an opportunity to capitalize on your free time. Your family may see things differently.

People don't seem to care how you came to be unemployed. They care about how hard you try to obtain another job. From day one you are expected to begin and maintain an intensive job search. Even if that takes months and you fail, you are expected to accept substandard, underemployment. You may try to explain how your entire paycheck would go to daycare making the job useless, but you are still expected to accept deplorable working conditions rather than remain unemployed. As an entrepreneur, you know this line of thinking is ridiculous and unproductive. You've figured out that the same time investment can be used to lay the foundation for a long term, successful career.

Your family members prefer the security and stability of gainful employment over self-employment. Self-employment is risky. But no matter how many hours you work for another company, at least some pay is guaranteed. Some income is better than none. So when you tell your family that you have made the decision to start your own business, what they really hear is that you've chosen a life of instability. Your family members don't want to support a decision they believe does not contribute to your stability and well-being.

When explaining your decision to your friends and family, do so as you would in a business meeting. Explain the need for such a business. Validate your findings with citations from extensive research. Don't just print information from Google, Bing or Wikipedia. Provide projected profit and loss reports. Provide realistic timelines for your business goals. If you want your family and friends to see you as a business owner, behave as one. Always remember that you need, if not want their support. You should never stop working to earn their support. You don't get to involve your friends and family in your fundraising while ignoring or not allowing their constructive criticism. They are invested in you both emotionally and physically. Don't reduce them to mere financial devotion.

The Fundraising

No matter the industry you've chosen, your business will need funds. If you have a non-profit, the fee to turn it into a 501(c)(3) is expensive. If you are a for profit company, you need investment capital to produce goods or services. Strangers will not contribute to your entrepreneurial venture. There has been a lot of buzz about crowd fund sites. Sites like Indiegogo call upon strangers to be benevolent and make donations to your business. But the reality is, more often times than not, people are funded by donations from their family and friends. Your family members are already of the belief that you should be working for someone else. They are worried that your business venture will fail. As a result, they are reluctant to provide financial donations or support. Where will that leave you? What happens to their hard earned money? Should your business fail, not only will they bear the weight your own disappointments, but also they will be less likely to invest money in your next attempt at self-employment. There is a great amount of trust involved in supporting an entrepreneur and even more trust once money is exchanged between friends and family.

Crowd funding sites are the most popular form of fundraising. They are also the source of bitterness and frustration. The best way to advertise your fundraising campaign with a crowd funding site is to share a link to it on social media and email it to all of your contacts. But most of your social media connections and email contacts are friends and family. Basically, crowd funding is a high pressured way to ask your friends and family for money. Not only are they apprehensive about giving your business money, but now they feel their relationship with you will be defined by whether or not they contribute to your fundraising campaign. Each time they see the link reposted on their wall or in their newsfeed, or emailed to their inbox, they wonder what will happen should they choose not to donate. They begin to dread your phone calls or texts for fear of the possibility that you're going to bring up the fact that they haven't contributed yet. Remember, that your friends care and your family loves you. But this does not obligate them to support your business financially. It's uncomfortable. And sometimes, they don't want to tell you "no". It is possible to support someone without having to do so financially.

The better solution is to seek volunteer assistance from friends and family rather than ask them for money. Ask them to circulate flyers to assist with your publicity, to answer phones one day a week, to help package goods, etc. Utilize their current business to your advantage and consider it the equivalent to financial support. Ask your friend who works at an office supply store for free business cards or discounts. Ask your cousin who works at the post office to help you with postage or delivery. Your caterer friend may be willing to cater a lunch meeting where you will meet with potential investors. Involve yourself in your local Chamber of Commerce. Every knows someone who can provide you with what you need without actually giving you cash.

Establishing a Customer / Client Base

The most difficult part of starting a retail business is establishing a customer base. Most products or services are improvements upon existing products or services. This means your product or service isn't very unique and is automatically faced with competition before you open for business. You have to convince faithful customers and clients, that what you have to offer is better in quality and value. You also have to compete with the burgeoning DIY Revolution. Search engines return countless results for recipes for homemade cleaning supplies, restaurant recipes, techniques for crafts and repurposing. No matter how great your product or service, there will always be someone attempting to replicate what you've created for a lower cost.

This is why having those closest to you as your initial customers can be beneficial. Consider the way a pyramid scheme works. You recruit two other people, who each recruit two others, etc. If you convince your family and friends to switch to your product or service, then their family and friends will likely follow. If you make your own jewelry for example, your family will buy and wear that jewelry to work, to a restaurant, to the movies, everywhere. There will be at least one potential customer who sees your jewelry and will want to purchase from you. This is how home retail begins.

Unfortunately, not all family and friends want to buy your product or service. They like what they have and don't see a need to fix what isn't broken. More importantly, if they don't like what you have, there will be uncomfortable tension if they were unhappy with their purchase. We've all heard the saying, "Don't do business with family." Imagine the holidays when that chair you built breaks or that dress you sewed didn't fit. You may be fully aware of the high quality of your work, that doesn't mean that everyone else is.

The solution if you have family that isn't ready to put their faith in you is to find out why. Hold a short presentation. Show them how the product works and for how much less than the original. Perhaps it isn't as cheap as the original. In that case, show them how it's value is higher. Let them give you feedback so that you can be prepared for questions and concerns from other potential clients. Attend expos, conventions, and boutique sales to showcase your product or services. Exposure is your best friend.


Remember, your family and friends love you. They want what's best for you. The idea of venturing out on your own might be terrifying for them. Listen to their concerns to better prepare you for potential difficulties in establishing your career. Entertain constructive criticism. Lastly, don't make your family and friends your personal lender or demand that they be the first in line for your product or service.

Cantu Natural Curling Cream Review

I began using this product as it was recommended by friend of mine. She has fine hair with tight, deep waves. I have thick, coarse, curly hair that is always dry and frizzy. The only product that seems to work on my hair is pure coconut oil. The problem is, when my hair is dry and brittle, it makes my hair greasy until it soaks in. Depending on when I apply it, a lot of it rubs off before it can fully be soaked into my hair and scalp. Most troublesome is the price and the accessibility to it in the first place.

My friend was over for the weekend and began using it on her hair. It smelled divine and I wanted to know what it was. It was Cantu Natural Hair Curling Cream. Usually I don't take her advice on products because they leave my hair extremely greasy and perfumed but not moisturized. But I noticed that this product seemed to activate her waves. So I bought some for $5.99 at Target, to use on my daughter's hair. She has silky curly hair like singer Jordan Sparks on a recent Excedrin commercial. I applied it in small amount to her dry hair first. Her hair smelled great for days. It immediately moisturized her brittle ends and dry scalp. Her hair was shiny, soft but not greasy to the touch. But, it did absolutely nothing for her curls. I found I had to wet her hair to activate the curls first, them use the cream. But the cream prevented shrinkage while defining her curls at the same time. She even noticed the difference. She carried herself a little differently after I used it the second time.

I ran out of coconut oil one day and had to await my Ebay shipment. I was desperate and needed some of my daughter's hair cream. Again, my hair smelled great for days. It was greasy for the first day and a half. But by the third day it was no longer greasy. Also, my hair was no longer brittle or crunchy. It was so soft and easy to twist and braid. I have very frizzy hair. I found that the cream immediately curled my hair in the way that coarse curly hair often responds to water. Which for me meant immediate shrinkage. But I was wearing my hair in a peasant braid and later twists. So the style stretched out my hair. After taking down the twists to wash my hair, I found the pattern was better set in my hair. I didn't have to leave the twists in as long to set the waves. But I also found that the twist out didn't last as long. My hair began to shrink, so much so that the wave and curl pattern became pure frizz. My hair was healthier and beautifully repaired, but the shrinkage was a problem.

I will continue to use this product for my daughter. I will probably use it if I haven't been adequately moisturizing my own hair. I may even use it after shampooing to immediately moisturize it. But I won't use it beyond that for styling. I will stick with my coconut oil as it doesn't cause curl shrinkage.

Facebook Rules Everyone Should Follow

When it comes to Facebook, it can be difficult to maintain your grip on reality. It's so easy to click "like", "share", or "post" that we tend to dig holes for ourselves, out of which we cannot climb. Just one click and you could lose your job, spouse or endanger your own child. Daily, I see posts from people who are having internet battles with other people. Some are angry over real life situations and choose to vent about it online. Some are angry that their Facebook content has been displayed elsewhere by a once trusted family member. And some are disgruntled with the pettiest of issues known to man.

All of this is known to every Facebook user and has been for years. No matter how hard we try, we end up coming back to the social media site because, well, everyone else is still addicted to it. No one wants to write letters anymore. I tried it over the past year. It didn't last longer than a few months. But let's face it, Facebook is fun. There's all those funny memes, and silly quizzes and videos you really wouldn't want your boss to know you've watched. It can be a great marketplace for both buyers and sellers. So how can you keep from being caught up in the dark side of Facebook?

Don't approve friend requests for anyone you wouldn't want to have your home address. Think carefully on that sentence for awhile. You post about your favorite restaurant, your child's school pictures, your garden, your job, your car. With minimal effort, an investigative person could track down your location in just a matter of days if not hours. A simple search on a background check website will even narrow down your list of known addresses. I once caught a criminal who defrauded me out of hundreds of dollars with the use of both Facebook posts and a background check website.

Don't post pictures of anything you wouldn't want to appear anywhere else online. I have grown partial to secret groups on Facebook. That's where all of the dirty talk takes place without being placed in Facebook jail. But the reality is, if one person starts to "get into their feelings" about something you may or may not have posted to send a subliminal message, or about their crush liking one too many of your pictures, everything you've ever posted is but a screenshot away. Not all violations of privacy occur the same way. Sometimes, there is that friend or family member that is so proud of something you've posted that they share or screenshot your photo and post it on their page. You trust that friend or family member, not everyone they've chosen to trust. Just like that, your daughter's innocent first toddler bikini photo has made it to the mainstream internet.

Get a journal. No really, go old school with it. When I first left Facebook, I was left with the overwhelming desire to share everything funny or cute I had seen that day. It was the constant interaction that I craved. Unfortunately, posting was preventing me from leaving so I began writing in my journal every time I felt like posting. I had a journal full of Facebook posts in one month. This kept me from oversharing as well as gave me a visual perspective on just how much I put out there for people to use later to exploit me. Just write it down. If you aren't into journals, restrict your posts. Only post at the same time everyday and allow yourself one post per day. You may like as many posts and photos as you choose but don't share or post anything. When your posting time slot arrives, decide, of all the posts you wanted to share, which is still worth sharing or discussing. You'll find that those awesome memes weren't really as awesome as you thought, nor were they worth reposting.

So what if you've already done the things I said not to do above?

Delete friends. If you delete people that never should have been in your profile, you stop them from doing any further damage. You can't undo any access that they already had but it will end with the last moment they had access. Never tell anyone you are deleting them. Those purge posts you see every so often are a no-no. If someone wants to steal your pictures and do malicious things with them, they will definitely do so after a threat of deletion because they know the time to do it will pass. Long after you've deleted that person you will continue to find recent photos online because they harvested them after seeing your purge warning post.

Restrict access. Maybe you know exactly who can be trusted with access to your photos. If so, create a list of those people under "Restricted". Change your post and photo album accessibility to restricted, so that even if someone is in your friends list they cannot see your most treasured photos or personal posts unless they are in your restricted list.

Delete activity. This is my favorite Facebook function. There are times when I overshare. There are times when I become overzealous about a cause or a revolution. I look back on those moments and feel embarrassed. There are times when I check my notifications and see the "Today in the Past" feature. It makes me cringe that I was dumb enough to post some of that stuff. Now I use that notification to delete any record of that post's existence. If there are recent posts I need to undo, I go to the activity link and delete my activity. Just like that, unless someone already shared it, my mistakes are erased. I also use this link to keep my general activity to a minimum. If I have been flooding timelines, then I can undo this mistake by deleting my posts in the activity log section. I do this every week if I have time. Facebook makes you delete each activity one at a time. So you will learn to post a lot less if you begin regulating your activity log.