Friday, December 14, 2018

Aquaman Review

Aquaman is another comic book-to-movie story centered on it's title character, Aquaman. You don't need to be a nerd or a geek or a comic book reader to know that Aquaman is a comic book character, drawn slender and blond, with no real talent other than talking to marine animals and possessing jinky water toys. Aquaman was reinvented to become the character we've seen in Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice as well as Justice League. It was clear then that DC had decided to turn the flimsy orange and green clad character into an underwater, cowboy beefcake. There are very few complaints from those of us to thoroughly enjoy the eye candy that is and ever shall be Jason Mamoa. Unfortunately, that is pretty much all there is to this movie.

As usual we are dealing with an under-melanated world of people where the villains are black and our heroes likely visit the tanning salon, or lay out in the sun before each filming day to "get a little color". Before you try and tell me they were just sticking to the comic books, again, let me reiterate that the original Aquaman was an unremarkable man in orange and green. If they can revamp, the character, they can revamp everything else. This movie's release is on the dusk of the beauty of Black Panther and on the dawn of the announcement of a sequel. A movie that takes place off the western coast of Africa but the only people of color are villains is a trend that is beyond played out. Quite frankly it's inexcusable and likely to strike a bad chord with comic book-to-movie fans who relished every minute of the world of Wakanda.

On the night of the premiere, visual buffet, Jason Momoa performed a haka with his children. I have to say that this too left me slightly bewildered. If anyone wants to know why, look at a map. The Maori, Polynesians and other islanders that traditionally perform the haka originate from the Pacific, not the Atlantic, which is the setting for the film. But I digress.

As I said before, the film takes place off the western coast of Africa, in the fictional yet most likely factual place known as Atlantis. For those who are unaware, Atlantis has always been believed by historians and geologists to be off the coast of West Africa, yet the only melanin in the film is in the faces of the villains. Not sure how that's possible, but as long as they give us eye candy, we're satisfied right? The world of Atlantis is visually appealing but also strongly resembles a futuristic, live action version of Disney's The Little Mermaid.

Approximately 30-45 mins into the film, absolutely nothing of substance has taken place. Yes, we've seen all but the most important parts of Jason Momoa naked at this point. We have also labored through Amber Heard's phenomenally talentless performance. But seriously, the only real talent in this film is, as expected, in the performances of Nicole Kidman and Willem Dafoe. So much so, that I longed for one or both of them to return to the screen to rescue me from this abyss of blandness. I mean, we all knew that Jason Momoa can't carry a supporting role in a film or tv series unless his shirt is off, so why they thought he could carry an entire film is beyond my comprehension. Don't expect any swarms of small children rushing to the Walmart to buy merchandise either. There is nothing cool about Aquaman at all. With all of his character redevelopment, he is still an unimpressive character in a world of weak character development and salt free, sugar free, gluten free plot lines. Seriously, I watched this movie twice and cannot tell precisely what the plot is or whether not it was resolved.

In short, Aquaman may be a movie Jason Momoa and his family can be proud of amongst themselves, but for the rest of us, we're better off buying the movie poster and moving on with life. The poster has just about as much going on as the film itself, which is flatter than the water that Aquaman swims in.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

8 Things You Should Not Buy From Facebook Marketplace

Facebook Marketplace pretty much replaces all other websites and apps designed for garage sellers. You can sell pretty much anything to anyone. It's not as secure as other sites, but it is far more convenient. Facebook's lackluster privacy settings makes people less likely to scam someone since buyers are granted access to their photos and check-in locations. There are a variety of sellers on Facebook Marketplace. You can find former Etsy sellers like myself due to their unreasonable fees, EBay sellers and other online sellers looking for a streamlined selling platform. You can find local businesses seeking to reach out to a larger consumer base. You can also find a fellow college student just trying to get rid of that $80 biology textbook that the professor never used. With so many things to buy with just a few swipes, you are bound to come across some things you shouldn't.

Make-up

Sealed or unsealed, new or used once. Never buy make-up from Facebook Marketplace. YouTube is the short answer as to why. Do a simple search and you will find ways to "disinfect" or refill make-up containers. There are also videos on how to reseal said make-up so that one can return it to the store without a hassle. This information is available to everyone who searches, including Facebook Marketplace sellers. The potential for contracting E.Coli and herpes is astronomical. There also is no guarantee that the product they claim is actually what's in the container. That NARS palette may be a knockoff refill in a NARS package. The fact that sellers can deceive you also means they too can be deceived. They'll have a friend who works at the drugstore or mall that gets them the inventory under the assumption that it's legitimate, but in reality, that unopened bottle of foundation was refilled and resealed by a customer who watched a YouTube video.

Hair Products

The same precautions listed for buying makeup should be heeded for hair care products. Also, people can be evil. The number of posts circulating from people claiming to put Nair or bodily fluids in these products is terrifying.

Home Cooked Foods

There are no checks or balances in place to prevent contamination or infections. We've all heard the saying "you can't eat everybody's cooking". There's a reason for that. Take the video where a group of white women and one black woman are discussing a new food product. The product boasts that you can dump the raw meat directly into the pan from the package into the pan without touching it. The women are all excited except for the black woman. She asks, "Am I the only one who washes their meat?" Many people understood her disgust and many had never heard of washing the meat before cooking it prior to seeing that video. There is also a video circulating of a woman washing collard greens with bleach, soap, salt, and water. That's death by collard greens. There is a more recent one where a man washes his chicken with soap while preparing to fry it. These hilarious mishaps are taking place in the same kitchens as the ones where the food you're purchasing on Facebook Marketplace is prepared. I don't even want to think about the variations of what is considered to be clean and sanitary compared to what actually is.


















Pet products

This one is less of an "ick" factor and is more about animal abilities. Dogs have a keen sense of smell. They also are territorial. Purchasing a kennel, carrier, or other product that another dog has spent a considerable amount of time in may be a waste of money. Dogs don't like to use doghouses, kennels or even dog beds if another dog's scent is still there. Sometimes no matter how well you clean it, they won't use what you purchased because they've already smelled the other dog. Their memories take over and remind them that there was another dog's scent there before. In some cases, the dog may mark the product or the area where you've placed it with urine. That's a whole other problem.

Undergarments

You're probably thinking that no one would buy underwear online. The fact that there are hundreds of listings selling them proves otherwise. You don't usually see listings for panties or boxers unless they're in original packaging. Still, you can't trust that. Usually what you see are bodyshapers, swimsuits and bras. Women falsely believe that these items are more sanitary. There is a reason thrift stores don't carry these clothing items. One reason is that they're unsanitary and another is that they expire. Bras, shape wear and swimsuits lose their support as the materials breakdown over time. Bras and shape wear should be replaced every 3-6 months. There's no way to know how long a bra was worn before it was sold online. Those pristine tags are no indicator if age either as anyone can obtain a tag gun on EBay.

Skincare products

Perfumes are usually expired, refilled bottles. This includes body sprays and perfume rollers. You don't get the real fragrance and if you do, it's less than what you're paying or, even at a discount. Creams and lotions have the same problem. You're paying for Gold Bond Rough and Bumpy skin cream but you're receiving regular Jergens body lotion.

Hygiene products

Imagine buying a bottle of Vagisil feminine wash and winding up with an unidentifiable infection. Or brushing your teeth and tasting something "not right" with the toothpaste or mouthwash. The only safe hygiene products are pads and tampons because they are each individually wrapped. But even then, I'm sure there's a way to tamper with them.

Baby food and care products

The same way a mason jar is sealed at home, a jar of baby food can be resealed. Cans of dry formula are easy to tamper with, as are diapers, body washes, shampoos etc. Better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your baby.

Limit your Facebook Marketplace purchases to furniture, services, crafts, upcycles, toys etc. Stay away from anything ingestible, applied to the skin, or worn over the genitals or in the mouth. The possible negative outcomes ware not worth the savings.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Destroy a Fuckboy With One Question

In general, a fuckboy is a boy or man who leads a girl or woman on for the sole purpose of sex. They are completely obsolete by design as there are many women who are fine with the concept of sex with no strings attached. All you have to do is be upfront and honest and you can eliminate all the drama. Honesty saves everyone's time. Still, these fuckboys exist, playing with your emotions, leading women to believe that they are in for a relationship but in reality, they're just being played for fools. In most cases, the sex isn't even worth the humiliation or the fact that your number is all messed up now.

Fuckboys not only waste your time, they also slut shame you. They make you feel low and used up if your number is higher than four or if you've slept with someone they remotely knew by way of their brother's, cousin's son. They will leave you discombobulated if you allow them. Here's how to beat them at their own game.

First of all identify the fuckboy swiftly to eliminate any wasting of your time. Here are a few of the symptoms:

  • Never calls or Facetimes you
  • Texts you dumb questions like "Wyd?" and "U up?"
  • Always wants to chill, or behaves like a total homebody all while wearing a wardrobe that screams "I like to be seen".
  • Smells like body spray.
  • Always on his phone when he's with you
  • Avoids commitment
  • Doesn't remember anything you say
  • Always steers the conversation to sex
  • Texts you around the same time the liquor stores are closing
  • Asks you to pay or go half on things
  • Has a Snapchat
Once you have determined he is a fuckboy, DESTROY him. Seriously, you must do this for the good of all humankind. Ask him one simple question...
"What's your number?"
 Now, fuckboys are not the most intelligent men in the gene pool, so they will attempt to give you their phone number again. Women everywhere know what the above question means. For the people who don't know, what you're asking is, how many women has the fuckboy slept with? Now the fuckboy is a prideful creature. He will smile and gush before bragging a bit. For women to avoid slut shaming, we have to claim the universally low number of four. But fuckboys will inflate their number to boost their masculinity. So throw out a number like ten. Depending on the fuckboy, he will scoff at this low number and either give you a number or respond with wit. Throw out the next number, 20. If they remain vague, their number is between 10 and 20. If they become offended or provide you a number, it will undoubtedly be greater than 25. No matter the number, shame them. Example:

" Damn your number is (insert irrelevant number here)? Wow! You're a hoe. A straight up slut. Just a nasty, gutterbutt tramp.I gotta let all my homegirls not to mess witchu. Ugh."

This is going be uncomfortable for you both the first time you do it, but it will have a lasting effect on him. He will be immediately confused. He won't understand why his high number has had the opposite effect on you. And as you scowl at him and begin to avoid him, he will know what it feels like to be slut shamed. As you ghost him, he will question himself as he tries to move on. If you treat a fuckboy the way they treat women when they are done with them, they will ultimately feel the same pain and embarrassment that they inflict on others.


After The Job Interview

There are many things in this world that erode our self-esteem. A job interview is one of them. To begin with, there is a lack of trust between the applicant and the potential employer. Applicants lie to get the job and employers lie to be more appealing. Another discomfort is the actual interview process. Whether your interview is one-on-one or with a panel, being judged by a stranger is weird and uncomfortable. Still, it is a requirement for securing employment.

So we dress our best, hand over a resume that took longer to write than a college term paper, and give our most professional interview possible. The interviewer(s) smile and shake our hands before leaving us with a heightened sense of hope. Then the waiting game begins, making us feel smaller and more dejected with each passing day. Sometimes, there is a rejection letter that is vague and impersonal. It sends the message, "you weren't selected and are therefore not worth a phone call to be told directly that you were not selected." In most cases, there is nothing.

What do you do when there is no response? Do you call? How many days do you allow to pass beforehand? Will you look desperate? It's high school all over again, and for many of us high school sucked. Nowadays, many employers require an online application. This places a greater distance between you and them. So make sure you nab a couple of business cards at the interview. It makes this next step easier.

After a job interview, it is important to find out why you were rejected if you can. The information you receive may help you in your next interview or may restore your self-esteem. Using the same format you use when writing a cover letter, be sure to write a post interview inquiry letter. Be polite, and thank the interviewer by name for the opportunity. If you do not have their name or names, address the letter to the Human Resources department. There are six bullet points you want to cover.

  1. Thank the interviewer(s) for the opportunity to interview for their company. 
  2. Compliment the company. Give one strong sentence that illustrates what attracted you to the company in the first place.
  3. Ask three post interview questions: What were the strengths of your interview? What were the weaknesses? Is there any information received from your background check or references of which you should be made aware?
  4. Thank the interviewers in advance for their responses. 
What if they still don't respond?
     
If the company still doesn't respond, be glad you don't work there. No human resources department or hiring manager is so busy they don't have time to send you a notification regarding your interview. 

What if they give me a bad review?

This is actually a great thing. If they took the time to tell you what went wrong, then they are more likely to give you a second chance. Do your best make considerable improvements on your weaknesses before applying again. If you lack experience, you know where to volunteer or whether or not you are seeking employment outside of your skill set. 


What if they give me a good review but still don't choose me?

In all probability, someone in house was hired over you. There's no defeating nepotism. You can try to befriend a person that works there to give you a way into the company. But that takes time and can be quite shallow.

If you're uncomfortable with sending a letter and hoping for a response, keep these questions near your phone. Be sure to ask them to the person who calls you regarding your application and interview. Remember, you're offering them a service for a fee not begging for a job. If they don't choose you, someone else will. Don't allow yourself to be defeated. Take on a salesperson attitude. It isn't "no" it's "not yet".

Never Work Overtime

I know what you're thinking. "Overtime is more money." No, never work overtime. "But I don't have kids. It's not really that big of a deal for me." No, never work overtime. "But it's a good way to show my boss that i'm committed to the company." Your boss doesn't care. Never work overtime. EVER. Here's why...

1. You literally don't have time for it.

There are 24 hours in a day. A minimum of eight of them are for sleeping. Even if you abuse your brain and body by only allowing 4-6 hours of sleep, you should still be getting eight. You need about an hour to get ready in the morning and an average of 30 mins to commute to work. You work an eight hour day with an hour lunch for a total of 9 hours and another 30 minutes or so to get back home. At this point, you've utilized 19 of your 24 hours, assuming you haven't compromised sleep and that you don't live far from work. You have six hours left to feed your children, bathe them, spend time with them and put them to bed. This does not include the extra time needed to pick them up from day care, take a shower yourself, run any errands or socialize with other adults outside of work. If you're lucky, you have a partner to lighten the load but, guess what, your partner wants some attention too. The only way to fit overtime into a schedule like this is to reduce sleep or put things off until the weekend. But once the weekend comes, you're so sleep deprived, you won't tend to the unresolved matters then either. Come Monday morning, your weekend wasn't a weekend, and you hate Mondays.

2. Its not worth your time.

For simplicity's sake, let's say your hourly pay is $10 and hour. Overtime is $15 an hour. Your boss comes to you at the end of the day to ask you to work a couple more hours because someone else failed to do their job in the eight hours allotted. The average employee is underpaid, so the lure of increased income is very attractive. But in reality, the $15 an hour you're receiving for about two extra hours is what you should be making in the first place. So its  not really extra pay. Take a moment to accurately account for the amount of income you're really being offered. Your base pay is $10 an hour. You're working overtime for two hours which means you're receiving an extra $10. That's $10 before taxes for two more hours away from your children, your partner, the priorities that have looming deadlines, your hobbies, your peace and serenity. Is it worth it?

3. Your relationships will suffer.

The average person has replaced real world socialization for social media. Partly because it is addicting, and partly because it takes up less time.  With barely enough time in a normal work day to spend with family, spending time with your friends and associates is nearly impossible unless you're texting or reading status updates. If you add overtime to that schedule, your family will begin to suffer. Instead of precious time with your children or your partner, you're at work with people you don't necessarily like for just enough money to buy an extra value meal. Meanwhile the people who love you are seriously beginning to miss you. By the time you get home, you're so tired you are really a pleasure to be around. This is also when you begin to hate your job.

4. Your boss isn't going to appreciate you more.

The fact that you're being asked to work overtime exposes poor management in the first place. It is your supervisor's responsibility to ensure that everyone is working productively within the universally allotted eight hour work day. If there is overtime, someone didn't do their job, or someone overstated the company's or agency's ability to meet a deadline. Either way, it amounts to poor management. Now the supervisor wants you to make up for their mismanagement by working overtime. Meanwhile, they leave on time to go spend time with their family and friends. As far as your boss is concerned, you are being adequately compensated for making up their shortcomings. Expecting to receive anything more than a "thank you" from your boss is unrealistic. You will end up angry and bitter in the end.

Overtime, is rarely ever worth the pay and never worth what you lose in life. Always remember you work to live, not live to work. You need your paycheck for food and housing. If your base pay accomplishes this goal, then overtime should be declined. If you have to work overtime to make ends meet, you need to ask for a raise or seek a higher paying job. The higher the level employment you secure, the fewer hours you are expected to work. Just ask your supervisor.


Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Agrimony Benefits

Agrimony (Agrimonia) comes from the Greek word Argemone, meaning "plant that heals the eye." From ancient Greeks to modern Americans, people have put this herb to use for more than eye health. The Chinese used it to treat menstrual issues and insomnia. Some Native American tribes used it for skin conditions, cough, sore throat, and diarrhea.

The plant contains polyphenol tannin which is a natural astringent. Steep a strong tea with it and apply it several times a day to treat skin inflammation such as acne, rashes, psoriasis, and eczema. Use the essential oil or add it to coconut oil as well. Studies reportedly indicate that the plant may help fight skin cancer due to the palmetic acid. Although bitter, drinking a tea made from the plant aids with the health of hair, skin and nails.

The tea recipe:

1-2 teaspoons of Agrimony leaves /flowers
1 liter of hot water
Steep 5 minutes for weak tea.
Steep 15 minutes for strong tea.

Making a weak Agrimony tea and drinking it up to six times a day can help relieve diarrhea. Gargle a strong tea for a sore throat or a cough suppressant. Add the tea to an edible grade, liquid coconut oil and a spray bottle for a homemade Chloraseptic spray. Use the same strong tea to make a compress for skin wounds or styes on the eye.

Use Agrimoney as a protection and hex reversal herb. Hang it in a medicine bag in your foyer and in each bedroom to ward off evil spirits. Hang a bag in the kitchen to ward off poisoning. Dress a black candle or reversing candle with Agrimony oil or dried herb to repel hexes, and send them back to the person who sent them. Place the leaves in your pillowcase to prevent nightmares.

*I am not a doctor. Use at your own risk. Seek the advice of a healthcare professional before using any herbs. 

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

White People Don't Belong in Voodoo

First let's define Voodoo. Voodoo / Vodou / Voudon is a religion that is derived from African polytheism and ancestor worship. It teaches a belief in a supreme being named Bondye who is described as an unknowable, uninvolved, creator god. Practitioners worship Loa / Lwa, many spirits who represent different aspects of Bondye and life. They believe in a universal energy and a soul that can leave the body during dreams and spirit possession.

So why don't white people belong in Voodoo? Well, the simplest reason is their ancestry. As stated before, part of Voodoo is ancestor worship. Practitioners call upon their African ancestors to assist with their specific needs. Although there are many different branches of Voodoo (Haitian, Louisiana, West African, Dominican., Cuban, and Brazilian), all branches lead back to Africa.

Imagine being an African ancestor being called upon to assist with the struggles of this life. You cross the veil to assist your descendant and instead find the descendant of the colonizer who committed genocide against your people. They enslaved your tribe and stripped you of your indigenous language and religion before shipping you across oceans and delivering you into captivity. Now one of their great-grandchildren wants you to serve them for whatever trivial needs they seek to fulfill. How likely are you to grant that petition? Quite frankly it's an insult. After all that white people have destroyed in the name of colonization and Christianity, they now want to appropriate one of the last surviving sacred gems from the very people they sought to destroy.

Another reason is that white people commercialize everything they touch. Once white people were brought into Voodoo communities, Voodoo became accessible to anyone and everyone online. Wiccans were combining Voodoo spells with their own and were marketing it as authentic Voodoo spells. Etsy and Ebay stores popped up with goods and services by a "real initiated Voodoo Priestess." Shops in Louisiana became novelties, owned and operated by white people dressed in Gothic attire. Each proprietor claimed to be an authority on someone else's culture and religion. Today, there is no part of Voodoo culture or religion that is not for sale. It was never meant to be this way.

Though there are several more reasons, the final reason i'm going to list is appropriation. Cultural appropriation is the act of taking on another culture as your own, without permission, and presenting it to others with autonomous authority. Take Yoga for example. Yoga is a group of physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines originating in Ancient India. Now, it is a way for white American women to stay fit and socialize during collective "me time". Yoga pants have disappeared and have been replaced with stretch pants bearing the stolen moniker. There is zero spiritual connection with yoga now. Buddhism, Hinduism and Jainism have been replaced with the local gym instructor and goats. Honest to God, goat yoga exists now. Show me a white woman with a sippy cup of Starbuck's coffee and I'll show you a cultural appropriator on her way to yoga class. I can't remember the last time I found a yoga class led by an Indian man or woman. This is what white people do to Voodoo.

Herbs and candles have quadrupled in price as they invade the botanicas and nurseries that used to be exclusive. Voodoo dolls are sold as cute emo toys and key chains. They vacation in Africa and post sacred rituals on YouTube. Everywhere there is an offbeat African drum, there is a white person being initiated into a religion that was never meant for them. They then create Facebook groups where they regulate conversations they have no authority over in the first place.

If you're a white person seeking spiritual guidance and belonging, try wicca or Christianity since your people committed genocide across the globe in honor of it. But please, leave voodoo alone. It isn't for you. It never was and never will be.