As usual we are dealing with an under-melanated world of people where the villains are black and our heroes likely visit the tanning salon, or lay out in the sun before each filming day to "get a little color". Before you try and tell me they were just sticking to the comic books, again, let me reiterate that the original Aquaman was an unremarkable man in orange and green. If they can revamp, the character, they can revamp everything else. This movie's release is on the dusk of the beauty of Black Panther and on the dawn of the announcement of a sequel. A movie that takes place off the western coast of Africa but the only people of color are villains is a trend that is beyond played out. Quite frankly it's inexcusable and likely to strike a bad chord with comic book-to-movie fans who relished every minute of the world of Wakanda.
On the night of the premiere, visual buffet, Jason Momoa performed a haka with his children. I have to say that this too left me slightly bewildered. If anyone wants to know why, look at a map. The Maori, Polynesians and other islanders that traditionally perform the haka originate from the Pacific, not the Atlantic, which is the setting for the film. But I digress.
As I said before, the film takes place off the western coast of Africa, in the fictional yet most likely factual place known as Atlantis. For those who are unaware, Atlantis has always been believed by historians and geologists to be off the coast of West Africa, yet the only melanin in the film is in the faces of the villains. Not sure how that's possible, but as long as they give us eye candy, we're satisfied right? The world of Atlantis is visually appealing but also strongly resembles a futuristic, live action version of Disney's The Little Mermaid.
Approximately 30-45 mins into the film, absolutely nothing of substance has taken place. Yes, we've seen all but the most important parts of Jason Momoa naked at this point. We have also labored through Amber Heard's phenomenally talentless performance. But seriously, the only real talent in this film is, as expected, in the performances of Nicole Kidman and Willem Dafoe. So much so, that I longed for one or both of them to return to the screen to rescue me from this abyss of blandness. I mean, we all knew that Jason Momoa can't carry a supporting role in a film or tv series unless his shirt is off, so why they thought he could carry an entire film is beyond my comprehension. Don't expect any swarms of small children rushing to the Walmart to buy merchandise either. There is nothing cool about Aquaman at all. With all of his character redevelopment, he is still an unimpressive character in a world of weak character development and salt free, sugar free, gluten free plot lines. Seriously, I watched this movie twice and cannot tell precisely what the plot is or whether not it was resolved.
In short, Aquaman may be a movie Jason Momoa and his family can be proud of amongst themselves, but for the rest of us, we're better off buying the movie poster and moving on with life. The poster has just about as much going on as the film itself, which is flatter than the water that Aquaman swims in.
