Wednesday, March 15, 2017

How Get Out Made Me Hilariously Paranoid

Get Out is a surprise box office hit by Jordan Peele, that has grossed over $100 million dollars. If you have not seen the movie, STOP. DO NOT READ THIS POST. Go watch it first, then come back to this blog and any other blogs that reveal all of the Easter eggs in the movie. Then go watch it again. Since I saw the movie, certain things in pop culture seem suspicious to me now. Things that made perfect sense before, no longer add up. I feel as paranoid as a conspiracy theorist now.

Men In Black

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones starred in this sci-fi comedy along with appearances by Tony Shalhoub (Monk) and Vincent D'Onofrio. The basic premise is that aliens are hijacking human bodies and are walking around Earth in disguise. The MIB have to capture these "illegal aliens". Sometimes, humans see the MIB doing their job. In this case, the MIB use a pen-like device that flashes and clears the human's memory. Their memories are later reprogrammed to remember whatever the MIB planted into the person's head.

If you've seen Get Out, this almost seems like a foreshadowing. Strange people, take over the bodies of black people. However in this case, the flash of light doesn't make the inhabited person forget anything, it helps them remember. Still, they are hypnotized just the same. At which point, any requested thoughts or behaviors are transplanted into the victim's brain.

Spill the tea

This phrase is most commonly used to request more juicy gossip. But what if all this time, the black person being asked to spill the tea was in fact receiving a warning from another black person who was already victimized by those evil body snatchers?

Tea shops

Have you ever noticed how much white people LOVE tea? Like, they love it more than the people who made it in the first place. There are even stand alone tea shops that are as popular as Starbucks. They take a traditional herbal tea from a particular ethnic group or indigenous region and totally revamp it into something no one can resist. There is definitely something suspicious there.

And lets not ignore the fact that they invented tea parties. They had so many, they have to have special China to serve it with. There's an entire etiquette designed around tea, when to drink it, how many times to stir it, tapping the spoon before putting it on your saucer. Perhaps these are instructions for hypnotism.

Skeleton Key

Someone sort of ruined the movie Get Out for me by telling me it was just like a reverse Skeleton Key. Of course this was black people occupying white people with hoodoo, but the premise was basically the same. At the time Kate Hudson starred in the Skeleton Key, black people were still attempting to assimilate to white standards. Our skin prevented complete assimilation, so the idea of a black person becoming a white person against their will was particularly terrifying for a white person. With Get Out the tables were turned. White people wanted to become black people. Perhaps this movie was trying to tell us something.


No one is more guilty of robbing black people of their culture like any one of the Kardashian / Jenner Klan. (The "K" in "Klan" was intentional). Each time a Kardashian couples with a black man, they behave more black, having fully absorbed our culture. However, the black man they were once with, is left to become nothing more than a shell of himself. Lamar Odom wound up in a coma. Perhaps his transplant didn't take. With each new black man, their butts get bigger, their skin gets darker, they start cooking soul food, they have black babies. The Kardashians may be hiding in plain sight. This is not a drill.

Master Race

Show me a post about any set of twins where one is black and the other is white, and I'll show you a comment from a reader that says, "the only way to erase racism is to make more mixed kids." It's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. White people who choose a black mate for the sole purpose of genetic engineering may as well have been a scene in the Get Out movie. If no one can fully claim black or white, no one can be labeled inferior or superior. Which was the focus behind the body snatching in the movie.

This entire post is merely a joke I came up with when a Hotep friend of mine got melodramatic about the movie. Just in case he's right about any of this, I want you all to know that you can count on me to be a friend like Rod. I hope you enjoyed my geeky sense of humor. 

No comments:

Post a Comment