Baby Making Playlist

By popular demand, here is the playlist that resulted in the creation of both my children.

Aaliyah: "Rock The Boat"

Beyoncé: "Speechless"

Bob Marley: "Turn Your Lights Down Low"

Boyz II Men: "Uhh Ahh (The Sequel)"

D'Angelo: "One Mo'Gin"

D'Angelo: "Untitled (How Does It Feel?)"

Faith Evans: "Come Over"

Floetry: "Say Yes"

Ghostface: "Camay"

Guy: "Tease Me Tonite"

India.Arie: "Brown Skin"

Janet Jackson: "Anytime, Anyplace"

Janet Jackson: "Funny How Time Flies"

Janet Jackson: "Rope Burn"

Jill Scott: "Imagination (Crown Royale Suite)"

Jodeci: "Come & Talk To Me"

Keith Sweat: "How Deep Is Your Love"

Kelly Price: "So Sweet"

Maxwell: "The Suite Theme"

Maxwell: "Sumthin Sumthin

Maxwell: "'Til The Cops Come Knockin'"

Prince: "The Most Beautiful Girl In The World"

Prince: "Do Me"

Prince: "Scandalous"

R. Kelly: "It Seems Like You're Ready"

Solo: "In Bed" SWV: "You're Always On My Mind"

Tank: "Slowly"

Teddy Pendergrass: "Turn Off The Lights"

Tony! Toni! Tone!: "Loving You"

Jodeci: "Forever My Lady"

R Kelly: Bump & Grind

Keith Sweat Ft. Silk: "Freak Me"

Case: "Happily Ever After"

Faith Evans: "Soon As I Get Home"

H-Town: "Knockin' Boots"

Shaggy: "Mr. Boombastic"

Etta James: "I Just Wanna Make Love To You"

Shania Twain: "From This Moment On"

Gary Allan: "Nothing On But The Radio"

Roger & Zapp: "Computer Love"

Roger & Zapp: "I Wanna Be Your Man"

Tevin Campbell: "Shh"

Missy Elliot: "Pussy"

Musiq.Soulchild: "Teachme"

Guy: "Let's Chill"

Changing Faces: "Stroke You Up"

Monifah: "Touch It"

Prince: "Get Off"

Tupac: "How Do You Want It"

Busta Rhymes Ft. Janet Jackson: "What's It Gonna Be?"

Petey Pablo: "Freek A Leek"

Chris Brown: "Poppin"

Patti LaBelle: "If Only You Knew"

Teena Marie: "Ooh La La La

Usher: "Nice & Slow"

And that's just a taste of over 150 songs in my real playlist.

Label Conscious: Recommendations

Every commercial or magazine ad that is aimed toward mothers or women comes with some sort of recommendation. Products made with babies and children in mind come with a pediatrician recommendation. Products about teeth come with dentist approvals. Even all of the cell phone companies all claim to be the fastest 4G network with the most coverage. How can that even be possible?

Don't Read Between The Lines

All Free and Clear comes with a label that says dermatologist recommended. This doesn't say which dermatologist recommends it. Is it a staff dermatologist? It also doesn't say what about the detergent is recommended? Is it the lack of dyes and perfumes that is recommended? There are dozens of detergents like that. Is it the brand itself? There are no specifics. Don't create them.

Tested And Approved

Durex condoms are tested for quality according to the packaging. What are the perimeters? What were the results. What standards of quality are in use? Tested does not mean approved. Even approvals are vague. The "meat" at Taco Bell is FDA approved. Knowing that the FDA Standard is 40% meat is enough to call a product "meat" you may think twice about the weight you give the FDA approvals.

Recommendations

What constitutes a recommendation? My pediatrician has a free sample basket. In it are a variety of lotions and baby washes. My pediatrician knows the parents of his patients love samples. When the sample vendors come in he lets them leave their samples. A week later he is simply asked if he would recommend that his patients take the samples. The answer is, "yes." He has never tried it or tested the products but would recommend parents who want the samples take the samples. Is this a recommendation?

Numbers Game

4 out of 5 dentists recommend Crest. 4 out of 5 also recommend Colgate. So which one is better? These statistics don't bring you any closer to figuring that out. There are a couple of ways to decipher this data. One way is to know only 5 dentists were interviewed by each company. Another is to refer to the "sample example" I gave above. A third way is to consider the loser. 4 out of 5 dentists chose Crest, over what? Read the fine print and you may find an uneven match-up that includes words like, "versus non-fluoride toothpaste". Well, duh. The real question is who was the 5th dentist that disagreed?


Don't buy a product based on claims from the company. Read the labels and do your product review research.

Break Up Playlist

• Forget You - C-Lo
• I Miss You - Klymaxx
• Send Me An Angel - Amanda Perez
• Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
• Who Knew - Pink
• With or Without You - U2
• Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake
• Don't Speak - No Doubt
• Ex-Factor - Lauren Hill
• I Miss You - Incubus
  
• I Would've Loved You Anyway - Trisha Yearwood
• In the End - Linkin Park
• Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
• Miss You Like Crazy - Natalie Cole
• My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
• Not Goin' Cry - Mary J. Blige
• Please Remember - LeeAnn Rimes
• Tyrone - Erykah Badu
• You Oughta Know - Alanis Morrisette
• You Were Meant for Me - Jewel
• Hurts Like Hell - Aretha Franklin
• Wake Up Call - Maroon 5
• Nothing Compares 2 U - Prince
• Karma - Alicia Keys
• Tori Amos-- Precious Things
• Pat Benatar-- Love is a Battlefield
• Ben Folds Five-- Song For the Dumped
• Black Eyed Peas-- Shut Up
• Ray Charles-- Hit the Road Jack
• Sheryl Crow-- Anything But Down
• Ani DiFranco-- Outta Me, Onto You
• Elton John-- Love Lies Bleeding
• Evanescence-- Call Me When You're Sober
• Fleetwood Mac-- The Chain
• Fleetwood Mac-- Go Your Own Way
• J Geils Band-- Love Stinks
• Green Day-- Good Riddance
• Greg Kihn-- The Breakup Song (They Don't Write 'Em)
• Avril Lavigne-- So Much For My Happy Ending
• Pearl Jam-- Black
• Tom Petty-- You Got Lucky
• The Police-- Can't Stand Losing You
• REM--The One I Love
• The Beatles-- Yesterday
• Michelle Branch-- Goodbye to You
• Toni Braxtron-- Unbreak My Heart
• Coldplay-- The Scientist
• Neil Diamond-- Love On the Rocks
• Guns N Roses-- November Rain
• Thelma Houston-- Don't Leave Me This Way
• Carole King-- It's Too Late
• Barry Manilow-- Can't Smile Without You
• Sinead O'Connor-- Nothing Compares 2 U
• Righteous Brothers-- You've Lost that Loving Feeling
• Roxette-- It Must Have Been Love
• Roy Orbison-- Crying
• Elvis Presley-- Heartbreak Hotel
• U2-- With or Without You
• Usher-- Burn
• Wham!-- Careless Whisper
• Cher-- Believe
• Cher-- Strong Enough
• Christina Aguilera-- Fighter
• Destiny's Child-- Survivor
• Lara Fabian-- I Will Love Again
• Gloria Gaynor-- I Will Survive
• M People- Moving on Up
• Scandal-- Goodbye to You
• Nancy Sinatra-- These Boots are Made For Walkin'
• Rihanna-- Murderer
• Rihanna--Take A Bow
• Madonna--Take A Bow
• No Woman No cry--Bob Marley
• Back Off Bitch--Guns N Roses
• The More Boys I Meet--Carrie Underwood
  

Netflix Pix: Romance

Like Water for Chocolate

(Como Agua Para Chocolate)

1992R 105 minutes

Passionate Tita (Lumi Cavazos) is in love with Pedro (Marco Leonardi), but her controlling mother (Regina Torné) forbids her from marrying him. So when Pedro marries her sister, Tita throws herself into her cooking -- and discovers she can transfer her emotions through the food she prepares. A feast for the senses, this magical romance from director Alfonso Arau was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award and a Golden Globe.

True Lies

1994R 141 minutes

Special agent Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a top spy in the ultra-secret Omega Sector -- but his wife (Jamie Lee Curtis) thinks he's just a boring computer salesman. When Harry's identities collide, the Taskers find themselves in the clutches of international terrorists, fighting to save their marriage and their lives. Director James Cameron's action comedy adds romance and special effects to the Oscar-nominated mix.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

2005PG-13 120 minutes

Marriage has gotten stale and predictable for John and Jane Smith, an average-on-the-surface husband and wife who don't yet know that they share the same undercover line of work: They're both guns for hire. Hiding their occupations has never been a hardship for either of them … until they discover that their next assignment involves them targeting each other. Can they go through with their respective missions, or will love prevail?

Love Jones

1997R 110 minutes

Hip Chicago twentysomethings Nina (Nia Long) and Darius (Larenz Tate) experience instant mutual attraction when they meet at a poetry reading. But Nina's just recovering from a painful breakup and Darius is uncertain whether he wants to be in a committed relationship. As time goes on, it's not clear whether the pair's mutual desire will lead to love. This urban romantic comedy took home a Sundance Audience Award (and earned a Grand Jury prize nod).

Beauty and the Beast: Special Edition

1991G 90 minutes

In this modern-day Disney animated classic set in 18th-century France, young Belle yearns to escape her ordinary existence -- and her village's boorish suitors -- until she becomes imprisoned in the mansion of a hideous, coldhearted beast. Can Belle help the monster revive the man within? Showcasing a lively, Oscar-winning score, this updated edition of the 1991 film includes remastered graphics and a brand-new musical number, "Human Again."

An Officer and a Gentleman

1982R 124 minutes

Dreams of being a Navy pilot prompt Zack Mayo (Richard Gere) to enroll in officer training school, where he runs afoul of a drill instructor (Oscar winner Louis Gossett Jr.) who senses the cadet's loner instinct and aims to school him on the importance of teamwork -- or break him in the process. In the meantime, Mayo romances a working girl (Debra Winger), ignoring warnings to steer clear of the local lasses out to bag hotshot Navy flyboys.

Petty Things To Fight About

This is the time of year when couples fight over the dumbest things. It is such a regular occurrence that it makes the world of lovers suspicious. Maybe you want to fight to have a reason to break up in time to avoid the Valentine's Day hustle. Perhaps you can't help yourself when it comes to being upset over worthless things. If you are fighting over the following list of things, you're being petty and you may want to take a vacation or have a glass of wine to relax.

1. The Toilet Seat - No, it's not to much to ask to put the darn thing back down. It also isn't too much to ask to simply put it down yourself.

2. Name Brands - You tell him to get Country Crock and he buys Imperial. Big deal. As George Lopez would say, "It's da same ting! Why you crying?!"

3. Forgot To Call - You talk his ear off about penny anty bull crap on a daily basis. Cut the man some slack. He does have other things to do during the day. Why don't you?

4. His Sense Of Style - Or lack there of. He's kind enough to ignore the fact that your feeble minded attempts to look like Rihanna on a Cover Girl ad look more like Lady Gaga on crack. It's only fair that you overlook his socks with Jesus sandals or his Colin Farrell beanie in the summer.

5. His Channel Surfing - Isn't this the reason you have a DVR, Netflix, Hulu, extra t.v.'s, an IPhone etc?

6. Aging Nordic Trainers - He knows he's a fat lazy bastard. He doesn't need you to point it out. Choose to remain silent about the cobwebs on his weight trainer and he will remain silent about your muffin top.

7. Nap Time - You don't have anything to say to the man all day long. The moment you hear him snoring on the lawn furniture you think of 20 things for him to do. Leave the man alone and let him sleep.

8. Who's That Girl? - Believe it or not, he did have friends from both genders before he met you. The world is comprised of two genders. It would be nice if your husband could hold a conversation with different people from each one.


There are so many more important things to deal with in life. There are people who will try to knock you down so that you can't get up. You will need the love of your life to stand firm with you and help you hit them back. Don't divide the ranks. Stay close to your love and strengthen it. Don't break it over something petty.

Sexy Dice

This is a great game to play with your lover or husband. It's pretty basic. You roll the dice and follow the instructions. Here's how to make the game yourself at home.
First, Google the words "cube template". Print the image of the template you like best onto red or pink card stock paper.

Second, write sexy words on the faces of the dice. Be sure to write only action words on one and body parts on the other. For more fun make a third one with locations.

Third, fold and glue the dice closed using a glue stick.


Four, have at it! The game is so fun you'll want to play it year round.

Valentine's Day Gifts She Won't See Coming

Bag Lady

Buy her a really large, fashionable bag like this one from Jessica Simpson. Let her think that's all there is to the bag. When she goes to open the bag and check out the pockets and space she will find a treasure trove of all of her favorite things. Stuff it with the IPhone or IPad or Nook Color. Throw in her favorite snacks and her favorite wine. Maybe add a digital camera, jewelry, a book she's been wanting to read, tickets to a show etc. This is your chance to show her that you listen to her and know her well enough to remember what she likes. Make sure the bag is pink or red.

Surrender Your Bathroom

You never have enough counter space between you. Either she's complaining about your mess from shaving, or you're complaining about her make-up being everywhere. It's time to surrender. Look at it this way, you'll never see another tampon or douche again.



Honeymoon

Whether its your first or second time around, an all inclusive honeymoon would be something she won't see coming. Valentine's day is on a Monday so she will expect you do the same old dinner and flowers. Surprise her with a honeymoon instead. You'll surely tick off your friends since their wives will talk endlessly about what you did for your wife.



Carrie's Closet

You don't understand why your wife almost cried when Mr. Big presented Carrie with her own closet in Sex In The City. Frankly, you don't have to. Just know that you will be worshiped for all eternity the day you sacrifice your closet to her. You won't have to fight over where things are or where they go. Treat yourself to an armoire or a new dresser. You both know you don't have very much in your wardrobe to begin with. Be creative with how you design the closet. Shelf space is the most important thing. If you are handy, make shelves out of wood from Home Depot. If you're not, by a closet shelf kit.

NFL In A Nutshell

Here is my first tutorial, if you wanna call it that. I have 62 emails all asking questions about football. I tried answering them one by one but it left me with more questions to answer. Hopefully this will be a better way to answer your questions.

Go Steelers!!

Love that Troy

Netflix Pix: Way Black When

Celebrate the start of Black History Month with these movies that take you way black when. They all left their mark back in the day. Take a look at some of Black America's most famous actors, before they were worth of paparazzi.



Any Given Sunday

1999R 157 minutes

Master director Oliver Stone crafted this look at the gritty world of professional football, capturing the trials and tribulations of the fictional Miami Sharks, a team beset by unnecessary roughness on and off the field. Stone's brilliant ensemble cast includes Al Pacino, Jamie Foxx, Cameron Diaz and Dennis Quaid in a full-blown assault on the senses, portraying every tackle, pass -- and torn ligament -- in vivid detail.

Coffy

1973R 90 minutes

"She's the godmother of them all, the baddest one-chick hit squad that ever hit town!" read the tagline for this drive-in hit. In her first starring role (and the one that launched her career as the queen of 1970s blaxploitation flicks), Pam Grier appoints herself judge, jury and executioner of the scum who dealt heroin to her sister. Revel in the decade's funky fashions and wa-wa music. "Her name is Coffy and she'll cream you!"

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight(Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight)

1994R 92 minutes

A wanderer who goes by the name of Brayker (William Sadler) holds the last of seven keys that hold the power to eliminate evil and protect the world from darkness in this rousing horror flick. The evil Collector (Billy Zane), however, possesses the other six. Anxious to hold the final key, the Collector assembles a team of walking dead to take out Brayker, Jeryline (Jada Pinkett Smith) and the other residents of a rundown boarding house.

Boomerang

1992R 116 minutes

Director Reginald Hudlin and Eddie Murphy team up for a comedy that finds the tables turned on ladies' man Murphy when he's taken for granted by a casual lover (Robin Givens). Halle Berry plays Murphy's platonic friend. Best bit: Murphy explaining to Berry how he can tell which characters in the old "Star Trek" series are destined to die.

Bebe's Kids

1992PG-13 72 minutes

When ladies' man Robin meets the beautiful Jamika, he falls head over heels. On their first date, though, she greets him with four small surprises: her son and her girlfriend Bebe's three trouble-seeking kids. Robin's dream date turns into a nightmare as the group heads off to the amusement park in this fun animated film. Also includes the short "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Voice cast includes Nell Carter, Robin Harris, Tone Loc and Faizon Love.

Before He Cheats

It's a subject no wife wants to think about. You want to believe that it will never happen to you. Then it happens to someone closer to you and you begin to wonder. Cheating is very rarely anything but devastating to a marriage. When it happens to the wives they are quickly criticized whether or not they choose to stay in the relationship or leave it alone. It can leave you feeling lost. There are some things to think about before your husband cheats if he ever cheats at all.

It's not your fault

No matter what he tells you when you ask him for the reasons it isn't your fault. He may have fallen out of love with you because of your personality but it was his responsibility to tell you. When a marriage is going south or when a spouse no longer does it for you, you have to communicate this. You have promised each other forever. That means they have the right to know how you really feel and what, if anything, they can do about it. If he cheats, he chose to do so on his own.


It's not her fault

When a woman loses her man she wants to blame someone for it. If she can't blame herself, she will blame the other woman. She will believe that her husband was seduced beyond his control. To believe otherwise would mean that her husband was weak or didn't love her as much as she believed. She needs to believe the love between them is strong. So she will blame the other woman for being the snake in the grass. The reality is, unless she rapes him, your husband wanted to be with the other woman. A male friend from high school once called the police on a woman who showed up at his house with nothing on but a trench coat. She'd flirted with him for months prior. He politely rebuked her advances. But when she took that extra step he had her picked up for indecent exposure. The woman wasn't arrested but she was thoroughly embarrassed. He made it clear to his wife and the other woman he was not interested. Don't make excuses for a man by saying the other woman was throwing herself at him. The fact that she's throwing doesn't mean he has to catch.


What are you willing to do?

The day you find out you will feel miserable. You may want to curl up into a ball and never come out of your home. Being cheated on hurts. Once you begin to work through the pain you will need to make some decisions. You will need to decide what you are willing to forgive and what you are not. If you have not done so already, you will need to clearly define the word "cheating" for your marriage. Some marriages are open. Some people don't consider certain acts of passion to be sex. You and your husband need to be clear on where that line is and what will happen if you cross it. If you are willing to stay, can you handle the loss of trust? If you are willing to end the marriage, can you handle a divorce? Visitation? Think about it now rather than waiting until you don't have a clear head to think about it. Can you forgive his cheating or is it the end?


Who can you count on?

You will need a strong support system to get you through this painful time. Who do you have in your corner? You should have the following people: The Listener, The Equalizer, and The Rationalizer. The Listener is the person that will let you talk until you can't talk anymore about your feelings. You will need to get out all of your emotions without hearing about someone else. Sometimes you can solve your own problems this way. The Equalizer is that friend that always knows someone who is shady and illegal. If you decide to take the low road, it always helps to have that friend that is willing to go to jail with you in the name of your broken heart. They are there to settle the score and they love it. The Rationalizer is there to keep you from going to jail in the first place. She is there to make you take the high road so that you won't regret what you are plotting to do. She is almost always right.


No matter what decisions you make or who you have in your corner, don't use your body to get even. This will definitely cause a domino effect of problems. Don't be afraid of how you feel or to ask for professional help. This too shall pass.