I know that there are a ton of reviews of Jamberry already. But I was given two samples and asked to write a review. I was given Pumpkin Spice and Candy Cane shields. It should be noted that I was given only half sheets and I have never used Jamberry before. As a result, they weren't applied 100% correctly as seen in the photo. Pumpkin Spice was applied correctly but Candy Cane was not. I got lazy.
Pumpkin Spice shields
These were apparently discontinued, not the color but the version of the shield. The adhesive side was thick and silver. I am told that the new shields have a white or clear backing now. The color was perfect, exactly as pictured. I used a hairdryer as I had seen on YouTube but this was cumbersome and time consuming. So I tried the flat iron method. I seem to have a hotter flat iron than that of the YouTube tutors because mine melted the adhesive right off the shield. This wouldn't have been such a big deal if I had more than a half sheet to work with. So adjusted the heat and continued. Because the shields were so thick, I found it hard to stretch the shields as needed to fit my fingers. But once I rubbed the warm rice filled pad on my nails they seemed to fit fine. But on my right hand, I decided to apply the shields and use the heat pad to adhere them. This certainly saved time but it allowed for rippling as the shields required more heat to become pliable. The shields lasted 14 days without a single problem. People complained that the edges were bothering them. The edges are thick, but I found that filing was worse than using baby nail clippers. So I used the clippers and had no rough edges.
Candy Cane shields
These were much easier to stretch and required half as much heat as the old formula. Unfortunately, I was working with a half sheet and had to really stretch on of the shields. I found that once stretch, they would shrink back to their original position. Clear polish didn't solve this issue. There were no edges at all that gave a problem. They were thinner and adhered even better. My only complaint was that the color wasn't as vibrant.
In both cases, I only peeled them off because I wanted to change the color. But they stayed on when washing dishes, cleaning crab, and showering. I would buy these but only if I know I am going to leave the color on for more than 2 weeks. They last so long and are priced based on that fact that it would be a waste to use them for less than 2 weeks.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Yule Incense Recipe
Yule begins December 13th but the celebrating has already begun. Now that my fireplace has been lit, I have been tossing Yule incense in the fire to fill my home with fragrance. I have several recipes but this is the one that my neighbors seem to request the most.
Yule Incense
3 parts Frankincense
2 parts Sandalwood
2 parts Chamomile
1 part Ginger
1/2 part Smudging Sage
1/2 part Cinnamon
Grind and mix ingredients well with a pestle and mortar or using whichever method you prefer. Toss a small amount on your lit Yule log. Or you can sprinkle some on lit incense charcoal. Make sure all ingredients are dry.
Yule Incense
3 parts Frankincense
2 parts Sandalwood
2 parts Chamomile
1 part Ginger
1/2 part Smudging Sage
1/2 part Cinnamon
Grind and mix ingredients well with a pestle and mortar or using whichever method you prefer. Toss a small amount on your lit Yule log. Or you can sprinkle some on lit incense charcoal. Make sure all ingredients are dry.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
NoMoreRack.Com Review
I made my purchase from NoMoreRack.com last Christmas and I regretted it. I wasn't going to leave a review but I have received several complaints regarding No More Rack since Cyber Monday I feel I should have left a review.
I made two separate purchases. The first was for an IRiola tablet for $50. The site showed a nice leather case, detachable USB keyboard, and a stylus pen. The purpose of this purchase was to have an Android tablet that my then 3 year old daughter could keep busy with and that I wouldn't be upset at her for annihilating. I found that. The ordering was easy. I was slightly irritated with the disorder of the site. There were so many options for the same item and there were very different prices depending on brand and accessories. I was able to pull up all the tablets that were for sale but I had a difficult time searching for the cheapest item and comparison shopping.
The special was great and the prices were right. The shipping was a flat rate shipping for 2 cents as long and I made all of my purchases within a certain time frame. They had everything that I could think of that I wanted for family and friends that year. The toy selection was horrible though. There were no name brand toys but that wasn't why I was visiting the site. They really did have a nice product selection.
I decided to take advantage of the shipping special and purchased a beautiful necklace of a mother and her baby in a heart. It was a beautiful necklace...online. The heart was supposedly 14 karat gold and the diamond accent was supposed to be a real diamond. The photograph of the necklace showed off a brilliant almost sparkling sheen and both the pendant and necklace were a glimmering gold.
So I waited for my shipment. I waited and waited and waited for my shipment. I ordered the items on Cyber Monday and was told by the website that I would receive them no later than December 15th...initially. After the 15 days lapsed, there was an update on the website stating that the estimated delivery would be no later than December 28th. These were Christmas presents so you can imagine my frustration. They changed the delivery date without a phone call or email or explanation. In the end I received the items two days before Christmas.
The tablet was a big disappointment. It was flimsy and there no accessories. I had to wait longer for my purchase to be received and they didn't send me the correct order. I contacted Customer Service which was a feat in itself as the website requires you to complete an online form and wait at least 24 hours for an answer. Nothing turns off a customer like being told to "leave a message and we'll contact you within 24 hours." That 24 hours of course extended past Christmas, more than 2 days in fact. The response was that I received what I paid for and they were sorry. When I sent them a screenshot of the listing, showing all of the missing accessories, the listing mysteriously disappeared and I received an email stating that item was no longer available.
Then came the necklace and pendant. The necklace that was a shimmering gold in the listing was a sparking silver. Apparently, the site ran out of the gold so they substituted for the silver without contacting me first. The 14 karat gold, turned out to be 14 karat gold TONED. The gold coloring was rubbing off in the little plastic pouch in which it was shipped. The "genuine diamond accent" was genuinely, diamond accent. Meaning it was a cubic zirconia.
So I attempted to return the items. This was the real insult. The return policy states that you have 14 days for some items and 30 days for the others. No big deal right? Wrong. The clock starts ticking before you even receive the items. So that two and a half week wait for the tablet made it non-returnable and non-refundable before I had even received it.
I assumed it was the Christmas rush that ruined their service. So, being a glutton for punishment, I tried again. I went to the site and saw Invicta watches. I am not big on watches but my husband has an addiction to nice watches the way others have an addiction to Air Jordan shoes. I just had to get him this really nice looking watch. Just as I add the watch to my cart, the name of the item instantly changes. Right in front of my eyes like magic. I was stunned so I emptied my cart and did it again. The listing specifically stated "Invicta watch", once in my cart the description changed to "Invicta inspired." I was done with the bait and switch routine.
A year later, my readers are even more dissatisfied than I was. Making the same complaints about baiting and switching, receiving damaged property, never receiving the property and being told they had to accept store credit, and other nightmares. This is definitely a website that I will avoid.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Louisiana Ghost Stories: Le Lutin
When I was a child one of the stories told to me by my Creole / Cajun family members was the story of the Lutin. Pronounced loo-tah, short a as in apple, it is the French Canadian version of the Leprechan or elf. The females are Lutins, pronounce the "n" but not the "s" For some odd reason, it terrified me as a child. Perhaps it was because there was the constant pitter-patter of little feet in our home due to toddlers or rats or something supernatural. But one thing is for sure, it didn't take much to terrify a 3 year old. Here is the story:
Long ago, in France, there lived Le Lutin, a mischief maker who appeared everywhere -- along the rocky shorelines, in the dark forests, in villages and towns.
The lutin could change his shape and appearance, and when he wanted to, he would take human form, and then people called him "le bon garcon," the handsome man, though many say he was not handsome. When the lutin lived upon the coastline, he often turned into "le petit homme rouge," the little red man, and sometimes he had a long beard.
No matter what shape the lutin took, he loved horses. They were his cherished animals, and people always knew when the lutin was about, for his horses would appear with braided manes, and they would often become fat, for the lutin loved to feed his horses.
Now when the French people settled in Canada, they had not planned to bring along the lutin, but the lutin is a trickster, and so it was that before long, he appeared in Canada.
No one in Quebec had expected the lutin, for no one imagined he could travel across the ocean, but one morning, in early autumn, a farmer named Jacques who lived in Quebec walked out to his barn and discovered that every one of his horses had a braided mane, and a braided tail, too.
"This must be the work of the lutin," said Jacques, "but I shall stop him from playing his tricks," for no matter that the lutin meant no harm, he was an irritating fellow, and few farmers wanted their horses' tails to be tangled.
Jacques thought for a while, remembering tales of other farmers who faced the tricks of the lutin. He could think of nothing that might stop the trickster, and so he went to discuss the matter with his fellow farmers.
"What sort of traps work?" Jacques asked Pierre, Paul and Bernard. "Remember, the lutin changes shape with ease."
The four farmers pondered the problem. They all wanted to help Jacques, not because they were particularly generous, but because they knew that once a lutin comes to a village or a town, he will invade every barn, stable and farm in sight.
And so they came up with a solution. Together they returned to Jacques' barn, and there, just outside the door, they dug a deep pit. "When he leaves the barn, he'll have to come this way," said Bernard, for this had been his idea. "The rest of you will hide inside the barn and do as I've instructed you to do."
That very night Jacques, Paul and Pierre hid inside the barn. Jacques hid in the horses' stall, and Paul and Pierre hid just outside, in a row, so that the lutin would have to run in a straight line out the door. And there, outside the door, just beyond the pit, stood Bernard. He held a sack. This was just in case the lutin somehow managed not to fall in the hole.
They waited breathlessly, and sure enough, they suddenly heard movement, and then they saw him. The lutin, was disguised, of course, as a tiny, bearded man carrying a sack full of sweetened oats to feed to Jacques' horses.
The horses neighed happily at the sight and smell of the lutin, but just as the horses neighed, Jacques jumped out of his hiding place.
The lutin turned to flee, for lutins do not abide detection by human beings. He ran out of the stall, and as he did, Pierre and Paul leaped out of their hiding places.
The lutin streaked toward the barn door. The lutin can run as fast as the wind, and it is difficult to see him as he runs. The men saw only a flash of red -- the color of the lutin's coat -- and they stared in wonder as the door to the barn flew open.
And then they heard an enormous whoop as the lutin managed to flee right over the hole, but just as they had imagined, he landed in Bernard's huge sack. Bernard at once closed the sack.
"I've got him!" he cried, and the three men ran to join their friend outside.
"Don't open the sack until dawn," Jacques whispered as they stared at the bulging sack. "The lutin does not like sunlight."
"Are you sure of that?" asked Pierre, for no one knew precisely what was true when it came to the lutin. They all knew, though, that they had caught the fellow, and they were so proud of themselves, they did not feel at all tired.
"We'll stay awake all night, and in the morning we'll have a look at our prisoner," said Pierre. The others nodded their agreement.
They built a big bonfire, and there they sat that night, the sack held fast beside them. They sang, and toasted each other and their brilliant trick. "We're trickier than the lutin himself," said Paul, and the others agreed.
When dawn came, Bernard grinned happily. "I shall now open the sack," he announced, but as he released the rope around the neck of the sack, a blur rushed past them. "What was that?" they cried in amazement, but all they heard was a giggle that turned into roaring laughter, and they knew the little trickster had run away.
He never did return to that stable, or so the tale goes, but many loggers in Quebec tell tales of their horses' braided manes and the ways of the trickster lutin.
Long ago, in France, there lived Le Lutin, a mischief maker who appeared everywhere -- along the rocky shorelines, in the dark forests, in villages and towns.
The lutin could change his shape and appearance, and when he wanted to, he would take human form, and then people called him "le bon garcon," the handsome man, though many say he was not handsome. When the lutin lived upon the coastline, he often turned into "le petit homme rouge," the little red man, and sometimes he had a long beard.
No matter what shape the lutin took, he loved horses. They were his cherished animals, and people always knew when the lutin was about, for his horses would appear with braided manes, and they would often become fat, for the lutin loved to feed his horses.
Now when the French people settled in Canada, they had not planned to bring along the lutin, but the lutin is a trickster, and so it was that before long, he appeared in Canada.
No one in Quebec had expected the lutin, for no one imagined he could travel across the ocean, but one morning, in early autumn, a farmer named Jacques who lived in Quebec walked out to his barn and discovered that every one of his horses had a braided mane, and a braided tail, too.
"This must be the work of the lutin," said Jacques, "but I shall stop him from playing his tricks," for no matter that the lutin meant no harm, he was an irritating fellow, and few farmers wanted their horses' tails to be tangled.
Jacques thought for a while, remembering tales of other farmers who faced the tricks of the lutin. He could think of nothing that might stop the trickster, and so he went to discuss the matter with his fellow farmers.
"What sort of traps work?" Jacques asked Pierre, Paul and Bernard. "Remember, the lutin changes shape with ease."
The four farmers pondered the problem. They all wanted to help Jacques, not because they were particularly generous, but because they knew that once a lutin comes to a village or a town, he will invade every barn, stable and farm in sight.
And so they came up with a solution. Together they returned to Jacques' barn, and there, just outside the door, they dug a deep pit. "When he leaves the barn, he'll have to come this way," said Bernard, for this had been his idea. "The rest of you will hide inside the barn and do as I've instructed you to do."
That very night Jacques, Paul and Pierre hid inside the barn. Jacques hid in the horses' stall, and Paul and Pierre hid just outside, in a row, so that the lutin would have to run in a straight line out the door. And there, outside the door, just beyond the pit, stood Bernard. He held a sack. This was just in case the lutin somehow managed not to fall in the hole.
They waited breathlessly, and sure enough, they suddenly heard movement, and then they saw him. The lutin, was disguised, of course, as a tiny, bearded man carrying a sack full of sweetened oats to feed to Jacques' horses.
The horses neighed happily at the sight and smell of the lutin, but just as the horses neighed, Jacques jumped out of his hiding place.
The lutin turned to flee, for lutins do not abide detection by human beings. He ran out of the stall, and as he did, Pierre and Paul leaped out of their hiding places.
The lutin streaked toward the barn door. The lutin can run as fast as the wind, and it is difficult to see him as he runs. The men saw only a flash of red -- the color of the lutin's coat -- and they stared in wonder as the door to the barn flew open.
And then they heard an enormous whoop as the lutin managed to flee right over the hole, but just as they had imagined, he landed in Bernard's huge sack. Bernard at once closed the sack.
"I've got him!" he cried, and the three men ran to join their friend outside.
"Don't open the sack until dawn," Jacques whispered as they stared at the bulging sack. "The lutin does not like sunlight."
"Are you sure of that?" asked Pierre, for no one knew precisely what was true when it came to the lutin. They all knew, though, that they had caught the fellow, and they were so proud of themselves, they did not feel at all tired.
"We'll stay awake all night, and in the morning we'll have a look at our prisoner," said Pierre. The others nodded their agreement.
They built a big bonfire, and there they sat that night, the sack held fast beside them. They sang, and toasted each other and their brilliant trick. "We're trickier than the lutin himself," said Paul, and the others agreed.
When dawn came, Bernard grinned happily. "I shall now open the sack," he announced, but as he released the rope around the neck of the sack, a blur rushed past them. "What was that?" they cried in amazement, but all they heard was a giggle that turned into roaring laughter, and they knew the little trickster had run away.
He never did return to that stable, or so the tale goes, but many loggers in Quebec tell tales of their horses' braided manes and the ways of the trickster lutin.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Gold Bond Rough and Bumpy Skin Review
Walgreens.com shows the following product information:
Effective for combating rough and bumpy skin on arms and legs as well as extremely rough, dry skin on elbows, knees and heels. Gentle yet effective combination of AHA, BHA and PHA exfoliates. 8 intensive moisturizers condition and soften.
Proven results: 90% experienced smoother, softer skin in just 1 week. 72% experienced reduction in bumps/the appearance of KP in 4 weeks. 89% experienced consistently less bumpy and significantly softer skin in 4 weeks.
- Dermatologist tested
- Fragrance free
- Non-greasy and non-irritating
Made in Canada
Apply as often as needed, or as directed by a physician. Use sunscreen or other sun protection to prevent sun sensitivity while using this product. Discontinue use if there is any irritation or burning.
© 2014 Chattem, Inc.
What is KP?
Keratosis Pilaris (KP) is a very common and completely harmless skin condition. In the population as a whole, keratosis pilaris may affect as many as one person in three. Its name gives some idea of what it is. 'Keratosis' means that there is too much keratin – which makes up the tough horny outer layer of the skin: 'pilaris' comes from the Latin word for hair (pilus). In keratosis pilaris, many small (1 to 2 mm. across) horny plugs can be seen blocking the hair follicles on the upper and outer parts of the arms and thighs.
What causes keratosis pilaris?
Keratosis pilaris is an inherited skin condition, running strongly in many families, sometimes with a generally dry skin (ichthyosis). The way it is inherited varies from family to family, but often fits into an 'autosomal dominant' pattern – which means that there will be a 1 in 2 chance that each child of an affected parent will inherit the condition. Keratosis pilaris appears when extra keratin accumulates in the hair follicles. This is usually in childhood, and most obvious during adolescence, often it clears in adulthood. It tends to be better in the summer than in the winter. Keratosis pilaris is harmless, and is not infectious.
Product Review
I found the product to be too expensive initially. It was at Walgreens for $11.99. But my daughter has KP on her calves and it has begun to develop on the underside of her forearms. There is no discoloration, only a rough bumpiness. I have KP on the underside of my forearms and my triceps. I am dark skinned and the marks are even darker. Doctors have no solutions for us. I have found that exfoliating gloves and a lavender infused natural soap keeps the KP from progressing. But it is very slow in its effectiveness. I saw a commercial for this product and decided to try it out.
I immediately noticed softer smoother skin, but only in the smooth skin areas around the KP. I felt like Neil Goldman from Family Guy when Meg tells him, "I never noticed how smooth the skin between your acne is."
The second thing I noticed was the uncomfortable tackiness of the product. My skin stuck to my pajamas and made me uncomfortable all night. During the day, when I rested my forearms on my desk calendar, I found dead skin residue on the paper. It was gross and I was not pleased. But then I remembered that the product, although smooth to the touch, is an exfoliating cream. So I decided to only apply the cream at night. I also noticed that it does not wash away easily. When showering, you will really need to scrub the cream away.
In one week, I noticed a difference in the way my skin felt but not the way it looked. I began using it twice a day and wearing long sleeves to deal with the tackiness. By week 4, after sporadic use, the KP on my arms was 90% less visible and physically detectable than before. The product delivered on its guarantee. I recommend using exfoliating gloves or loofahs in the bath and a moisturizing body wash in combination with the product as it causes layers of dead skin to shed in a rapid amount of time. Keep the area covered to protect it from the sun and to speed up the process.
The product was definitely not overpriced as originally believed. I would purchase it again.
Mabon Incense Recipe
Mabon is defined as:
The holiday of the autumnal equinox, Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, Meán Fómhair or Alban Elfed, is a Pagan ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth and a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Goddess and the God during the coming winter months. The name Mabon was coined by Aidan Kelly around 1970 as a reference to Mabon ap Modron, a character from Welsh mythology. Among the sabbats, it is the second of the three Pagan harvest festivals, preceded by Lammas / Lughnasadh and followed by Samhain.
I like to mark the occasion by burning incense. Here is my recipe for Mabon incense that is burned on charcoal.
2 parts sandalwood Powder
2 parts White Oak Bark (You may substitute Oak Leaves)
1 part rosemary
1 part cinnamon chips
1 part Apple Chips
1 part Frankincense
All ingredients must be dried and well ground. You may use a coffee or spice grinder but you should not use the appliance for food once you do. A pestle and mortar are advised. Just spoon the desired amount onto your lit charcoal and let smolder. Keep the remainder in an air tight container.
Friday, September 12, 2014
What Apple Fans Want Everyone to Know
We don't actually wait years for anything.
The fact is, Apple products are built to last. I still have a MacBook that I purchased before the release of the first smartphone. And guess what? It's just as fast, graphics are great, still just as compatible, and it's as virus free as the day I bought it. Sure there have been many changes in the MacBook line. There have been many changes to laptops and notebooks. But the thing is, I've never needed to buy a new one. The same is true of the IPhone. I still have and use my Verizon IPhone 4. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's small, no bugs, compatible, nice pics, works great. I've had this phone over five years. So why do Apple users upgrade? There are three simple reasons. One, you have damaged or broken your product. Sometimes it's just cheaper to replace than to repair. Two, you're completely happy with your product except for one or two features. Once those features have changed, you're willing to upgrade. Three, You're a lessor. Many people like to have the newest version of everything. By constantly upgrading your Apple product, you will always have a new product that you can sell before it's completely depreciated. Much like leasing cars. I am an Apple fan that falls under one and two. I had my IPhone 4 so long that if I broke it, it would make sense to simply replace it. Also, as a mother, I LOVED the Touch ID and the Cloud. Sure other phones have these features, but not before Apple.
We aren't throwing away money.
There's a reason new Android phones and PC products are released so frequently. The life expectancy of the product is shorter. Imagine what would happen if your Galaxy gave out completely before the new version was released. Imagine that the release of the new version took as long as the IPhone. How many times would you have to purchase the same phone before the new version came out? The fact is, this was a part of the marketing campaign. Companies must determine the approximate amount of time before consumers realize they have purchased the same product more than once and therefore have an inferior product, before they decided to switch brands? Many new IPhone fans have purchased more than one Android phone before the next one was released. After realizing just how much was spent they figured, they could have bought one IPhone that would have lasted the entire five years. The same is true of notebooks and laptops. They came with screens that flip and spin and an operating system that mimicked Apple's. But the products failed to perform and they did everything but keep viruses out. A product that isn't expected to last cannot be expensive. It also has to regularly come up with new gimmicks to keep consumers faithful, to distract from the fact that they have the inferior product. The old adage "You get what you pay for" is so true when it comes to Apple and non-Apple products.
We don't believe the hype.
In fact, there is no hype. When a new Apple product is set to release, there is always the leak, and then the actual release. Every IPhone user I've known has said that they learned of the new IPhone from a non-IPhone user. That is because a good competitor spies the competition. But think for a moment about Apple commercials. There is simply the product. In fact, sometimes, there isn't any dialogue or lyrics to the music. When you're selling a great product, you don't need all the buzz and fluff. Also, winners don't compare themselves to anyone else. If you're the best, why compare to the rest? And why would anyone want to switch from Apple to Android when they are releasing commercials that basically call us idiots that make poor decisions. "You're an idiot for buying that IPhone. Switch to Android." Yeah, that's not going to make me want to switch.
We don't want bigger screens, you do.
There were many surveys that determined the biggest reason non-IPhone users haven't switched was the screen. They loved, however, the quality, picture, function and security.Veteran IPhone users want privacy, hence the TouchID. We don't like others seeing what's on our screens. We don't like people in line seeing what type of credit card we have in our wallets. We don't like apps that use blanket permissions that allow regular monitoring of our phone content. So the IPhone 5s focused on those things. The reality is the IPhone 6 is not geared toward current IPhone users, It's intended for those holdouts who haven't taken the plunge yet. Veteran IPhone users, aren't complaining about the phones they already have.
The same is also true of the notebooks. Have you noticed how subtle the changes to a MacBook are? Have you noticed how every few years there's a new gimmick on the PC laptops? The reason is these features either fail to function or don't attract the masses in the first place. Apple hasn't really changed a thing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. The greatest difference was the MacBook Air, which, surprise surprise, was thinner and smaller. It is still the top selling notebook. In fact, when schools order computers and tablets, they order Apple, not Android, not PC. The reasons, the reliability and the quality of the products.
In summary, Apple fans are people who want quality products that last long enough not to need a gimmicky upgrade every year to distract us. We aren't hipsters looking for the trendiest products. We are techies who seek out time tested technological advances. No matter how many You-Tube videos you make about us, we aren't switching.
The fact is, Apple products are built to last. I still have a MacBook that I purchased before the release of the first smartphone. And guess what? It's just as fast, graphics are great, still just as compatible, and it's as virus free as the day I bought it. Sure there have been many changes in the MacBook line. There have been many changes to laptops and notebooks. But the thing is, I've never needed to buy a new one. The same is true of the IPhone. I still have and use my Verizon IPhone 4. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's small, no bugs, compatible, nice pics, works great. I've had this phone over five years. So why do Apple users upgrade? There are three simple reasons. One, you have damaged or broken your product. Sometimes it's just cheaper to replace than to repair. Two, you're completely happy with your product except for one or two features. Once those features have changed, you're willing to upgrade. Three, You're a lessor. Many people like to have the newest version of everything. By constantly upgrading your Apple product, you will always have a new product that you can sell before it's completely depreciated. Much like leasing cars. I am an Apple fan that falls under one and two. I had my IPhone 4 so long that if I broke it, it would make sense to simply replace it. Also, as a mother, I LOVED the Touch ID and the Cloud. Sure other phones have these features, but not before Apple.
We aren't throwing away money.
There's a reason new Android phones and PC products are released so frequently. The life expectancy of the product is shorter. Imagine what would happen if your Galaxy gave out completely before the new version was released. Imagine that the release of the new version took as long as the IPhone. How many times would you have to purchase the same phone before the new version came out? The fact is, this was a part of the marketing campaign. Companies must determine the approximate amount of time before consumers realize they have purchased the same product more than once and therefore have an inferior product, before they decided to switch brands? Many new IPhone fans have purchased more than one Android phone before the next one was released. After realizing just how much was spent they figured, they could have bought one IPhone that would have lasted the entire five years. The same is true of notebooks and laptops. They came with screens that flip and spin and an operating system that mimicked Apple's. But the products failed to perform and they did everything but keep viruses out. A product that isn't expected to last cannot be expensive. It also has to regularly come up with new gimmicks to keep consumers faithful, to distract from the fact that they have the inferior product. The old adage "You get what you pay for" is so true when it comes to Apple and non-Apple products.
We don't believe the hype.
In fact, there is no hype. When a new Apple product is set to release, there is always the leak, and then the actual release. Every IPhone user I've known has said that they learned of the new IPhone from a non-IPhone user. That is because a good competitor spies the competition. But think for a moment about Apple commercials. There is simply the product. In fact, sometimes, there isn't any dialogue or lyrics to the music. When you're selling a great product, you don't need all the buzz and fluff. Also, winners don't compare themselves to anyone else. If you're the best, why compare to the rest? And why would anyone want to switch from Apple to Android when they are releasing commercials that basically call us idiots that make poor decisions. "You're an idiot for buying that IPhone. Switch to Android." Yeah, that's not going to make me want to switch.
We don't want bigger screens, you do.
There were many surveys that determined the biggest reason non-IPhone users haven't switched was the screen. They loved, however, the quality, picture, function and security.Veteran IPhone users want privacy, hence the TouchID. We don't like others seeing what's on our screens. We don't like people in line seeing what type of credit card we have in our wallets. We don't like apps that use blanket permissions that allow regular monitoring of our phone content. So the IPhone 5s focused on those things. The reality is the IPhone 6 is not geared toward current IPhone users, It's intended for those holdouts who haven't taken the plunge yet. Veteran IPhone users, aren't complaining about the phones they already have.
The same is also true of the notebooks. Have you noticed how subtle the changes to a MacBook are? Have you noticed how every few years there's a new gimmick on the PC laptops? The reason is these features either fail to function or don't attract the masses in the first place. Apple hasn't really changed a thing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. The greatest difference was the MacBook Air, which, surprise surprise, was thinner and smaller. It is still the top selling notebook. In fact, when schools order computers and tablets, they order Apple, not Android, not PC. The reasons, the reliability and the quality of the products.
In summary, Apple fans are people who want quality products that last long enough not to need a gimmicky upgrade every year to distract us. We aren't hipsters looking for the trendiest products. We are techies who seek out time tested technological advances. No matter how many You-Tube videos you make about us, we aren't switching.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
What Classy Women Know
This is merely a compilation of things that self-described classy women say has set them apart from other women. There were many other things that were named but I didn't want this post to be too long. The following is in no way meant to pass judgment on others.
Go tagless.
Those tags on your lingerie, cut 'em off. The point of a lacy thong is to show off your assets. A slender, pink tag with your size on it, sticking out of your crack is not attractive. In fact, the only tags you should have on your clothing should be the designer's label. If you can't remember your size or how to launder your clothing, you have other things to focus on. Lingerie should not have any labels at all.
You don't need to raise your voice to be heard.
Speaking loudly, shouting, rolling your neck will certainly call attention to you. Unfortunately, it will not be the attention you seek. Change your vernacular, use different tones and facial expressions to emphasize your point rather than raise your voice.
Don't use words you don't know.
Most people attempt to use words they don't know in order to sound more intelligent. But the reality is, it has the opposite effect. It is better to take the time to learn the words you don't know and how to properly use them. The same is true of enunciation and pronunciation. Over enunciating and pronouncing words with excess, in an attempt to sound "proper" makes other's wonder about you. Be yourself.
Your bra is not a purse.
There are several styles of handbags, purses, clutches and totes. There is never a reason to use your bra as a purse. No one wants your sweaty money. It's not very classy to reach down into your bra at the counter at the grocery store.
Take it easy on the perfume.
A woman's perfume should not announce her arrival to a room. It should also be light enough to last but mere seconds when she leaves the room. It should last just long enough for someone to want to follow her out of the room to ask her for her number.
Make-up is meant to enhance your beauty.
Eyebrows should be easily identified as neatly groomed strips of hair. They should not appear to be painted on or drawn on with a Sharpie. If it takes you two washes to remove all of your make-up at night, you're wearing too much make-up.
Dress for your body type.
Thin women should not wear high-waisted pants and full-figured women should not wear low rise jeans. The reason is that certain garments cover up the natural beauty of a woman's figure. For example, low-rise jeans on full-figured women brings attention to the waist. Curvy jeans or hip-huggers provide the same look in a more flattering way. A flat chested woman can wear a ruffle front top and appear to be more balanced at the top. A smooth front top on a full-figured woman, as simple as it is, can make a man's jaw drop. She has curves that should not be disguised.
Polish can be flashy but your nails should be simple.
There seems to be a trend of pointy manicures. Women are wearing lattice patterns on pointed, witch-like nails. You may love your new nails, but your man is secretly praying you won't gouge his eyes out when you reach for him at night. If you have to type with the underside of your fingers rather than the finger tips, your nails are too long.
Keep it in the closet.
You are woman, we've heard you roar. There is no need to discuss your sexual escapades in public. If someone wants to know what you're like in bed, then they should at least have to ask you on a date to find out. True, men are attracted to overt displays of sexuality. If this were false, twerking would not have made a comeback. But what keeps a man coming back for more is the mystery. Which is more exciting, an unwrapped birthday present, or a wrapped one?
Sunday, July 13, 2014
How to Give Her a Mind Orgasm
We've all heard the Alanis Morissette song, All I Really Want. She practically ignited a riot amongst Generation X when she shouted, "And all I need now is intellectual intercourse, a soul to dig the hole much deeper."
Many Star Trek fans also remember at least one episode per version of the show where someone performed a mind meld. It began with Mr. Spock and continued on to Deanna Troi on The Next Generation, as well as Odo on Deep Space Nine to name a few. It would seems as though the geeks and nerds of the Sci-Fi genre have a deeper understanding of what it is that women truly want. Their ideas of making love tend to involve discussing literary works or scientific theory before somehow, telepathically perhaps, tapping into her deepest desires and satisfying her in ways even Captain James T. Kirk couldn't accomplish. Could all of these geeks and nerds be wrong? In my opinion, no.
How many times have you come home to a woman who is rambling on and on about "that bitch at work" (or the PTA, or the grocery store, or wherever) and wondered what you did to deserve to be tortured? You really don't want to hear her crap. But guess what, she want's to talk about it. And what she wants more than to talk about it, is to have you listen to her. And I don't mean sit there blankly while fighting the urge to dose off. I mean active listening, asking questions, relevant questions and giving a corresponding opinion. Making a woman feel like you are actually listening to her and valuing her thoughts is the equivalent to unfastening her bra. It won't be long before you're bumping uglies in the dark, or smashing, as it has been recently referred.
But you can't just sit there and listen to her babble. Although, depending on the woman you chose to be your mate, you may have to do just that. In reality, most women want to talk about something more. Ask her about the situation in Tel Aviv, her opinions on the misogyny of feminism, when is the right age to wean a child from breast feeding. Even if she has never thought of those things before, chances are, she will be grateful that you even attempted to have an intellectual conversation with her. Don't get me wrong, every woman wants to be beautiful and esthetically attractive. But the truly confident ones are already content with their outward appearance. They don't need or want any reassurance from you that they have "a big fat butt." What they want is to know that they are more than just a "dime piece." If you encounter a topic she knows nothing about, teach her. She will respect you for it. Think of the football fan in the fall, all set to watch his favorite team when his woman walks in. She has no idea what's going on or even what a touchdown is. But he recognizes that she wants to be a part of this aspect of his life, so he teaches her. And although she may ultimately choose a different team as her favorite, together they can enjoy one of his past times simply because he took the time to teach her.
Try it out one day. Pick a Friday or Saturday when you both already planned to stay in. Turn off the t.v. and pour some wine. Only turn on the stereo if you intend to discuss the music playing. Strike up a conversation. Make and maintain consistent eye contact. Discover things about her you never knew before, while sharing things about you with her that she never knew. If you run out of things to say, say nothing. Her mind will peak multiple times in ways you can only imagine. This is the equivalent of removing her panties. I'm sure you know what to do from there.
Stimulating a woman's mind is the best way to show her that she is more than just a sexual object to you. That is the best reassurance you can offer her, whether or not she is insecure. But of course, that doesn't mean that she doesn't enjoy meaningless raunchy sex anymore. It just means you finally made her mind feel what her body feels. If you need more clarification, go ask a geek or a nerd.
Many Star Trek fans also remember at least one episode per version of the show where someone performed a mind meld. It began with Mr. Spock and continued on to Deanna Troi on The Next Generation, as well as Odo on Deep Space Nine to name a few. It would seems as though the geeks and nerds of the Sci-Fi genre have a deeper understanding of what it is that women truly want. Their ideas of making love tend to involve discussing literary works or scientific theory before somehow, telepathically perhaps, tapping into her deepest desires and satisfying her in ways even Captain James T. Kirk couldn't accomplish. Could all of these geeks and nerds be wrong? In my opinion, no.
How many times have you come home to a woman who is rambling on and on about "that bitch at work" (or the PTA, or the grocery store, or wherever) and wondered what you did to deserve to be tortured? You really don't want to hear her crap. But guess what, she want's to talk about it. And what she wants more than to talk about it, is to have you listen to her. And I don't mean sit there blankly while fighting the urge to dose off. I mean active listening, asking questions, relevant questions and giving a corresponding opinion. Making a woman feel like you are actually listening to her and valuing her thoughts is the equivalent to unfastening her bra. It won't be long before you're bumping uglies in the dark, or smashing, as it has been recently referred.
But you can't just sit there and listen to her babble. Although, depending on the woman you chose to be your mate, you may have to do just that. In reality, most women want to talk about something more. Ask her about the situation in Tel Aviv, her opinions on the misogyny of feminism, when is the right age to wean a child from breast feeding. Even if she has never thought of those things before, chances are, she will be grateful that you even attempted to have an intellectual conversation with her. Don't get me wrong, every woman wants to be beautiful and esthetically attractive. But the truly confident ones are already content with their outward appearance. They don't need or want any reassurance from you that they have "a big fat butt." What they want is to know that they are more than just a "dime piece." If you encounter a topic she knows nothing about, teach her. She will respect you for it. Think of the football fan in the fall, all set to watch his favorite team when his woman walks in. She has no idea what's going on or even what a touchdown is. But he recognizes that she wants to be a part of this aspect of his life, so he teaches her. And although she may ultimately choose a different team as her favorite, together they can enjoy one of his past times simply because he took the time to teach her.
Try it out one day. Pick a Friday or Saturday when you both already planned to stay in. Turn off the t.v. and pour some wine. Only turn on the stereo if you intend to discuss the music playing. Strike up a conversation. Make and maintain consistent eye contact. Discover things about her you never knew before, while sharing things about you with her that she never knew. If you run out of things to say, say nothing. Her mind will peak multiple times in ways you can only imagine. This is the equivalent of removing her panties. I'm sure you know what to do from there.
Stimulating a woman's mind is the best way to show her that she is more than just a sexual object to you. That is the best reassurance you can offer her, whether or not she is insecure. But of course, that doesn't mean that she doesn't enjoy meaningless raunchy sex anymore. It just means you finally made her mind feel what her body feels. If you need more clarification, go ask a geek or a nerd.
Things to Consider BEFORE You Have An Affair
Every wife has thought about cheating on her husband. Exactly what she's thought about it may vary. Some women will swear to the Lord above that the only thoughts they have ever had on cheating is that they would never and that their husbands had better not. But then there are the ones who are seriously weighing their options. Here are some things to consider while you ponder the unthinkable.
Why are you doing it?
There's never a good reason for it. There may be very understandable and forgivable reasons, but no justification ever exists. So figure out your motivation for doing it in the first place. If you're bored, angry, unsatisfied, you may want to put in a little more work with your husband. As Ludacris once said, "Some say that sex is overrated but they just ain't doin' it right." If ho-hum has hit your sex life or if too many arguments have turned you off, find another solution. You will find it extremely difficult to live with yourself once you work through your rough patch if you have an affair for such a simple reason.
But then there are the more complex reasons. I know people who have done it because they can't afford the divorce. Affording the divorce goes beyond the cost of a divorce. In a divorce, consider the living arrangements for the children, which friends you will undoubtedly have to stop seeing, the cost of child support etc. Justified or not, there are some situations where it's easier for some women to supplement rather than replace. Whatever your decision, make sure the reason you choose is one you can live with.
What do you want out of the affair?
There are long term and short term affairs. You have to be clear before you have the affair of exactly what you want. If you are looking for a full-fledged relationship to replace your own, it's better to wait until the relationship has officially ended. "Once a cheater always a cheater" is a concept that applies to women as well. How will your new belle or beau be able to trust that you will be faithful when you were cheating when you met? This will certainly trip up your road to happiness. If you want short term, does your lover want the same thing? We've all seen the stalker stories on Discovery ID and Lifetime where one person wants sex and the other believes they were soul mates. If what you want is short term, consider how far the other person may be willing to go to keep the relationship going. If what you want is long term, can you handle letting go?
Are you willing to lose everything?
This goes back to my first question. Why are you doing it? If your reasons to have the affair outweigh your reasons to abstain, in theory, your situation is such that you are ready to lose everything. Which is why some say, just end the relationship. When you have the affair, you aren't just risking your marriage. Your friends and family will judge you. Some will forgive you, others will not. Your employer may find out thus ending your employment, especially in an at-will hire state. Are you a PTA member, philanthropist, public figure, community leader? If so, you may do irreparable harm to your career and your community. What will you do when your child's teacher finds out? Will the couples you used to hang out with shun you to protect their own relationships? Being a cheater can be very lonely.
Is this going to be a secret?
If you plan on keeping this affair a secret, can you handle it? In order to keep an affair secret, you have to be able to behave as if nothing at all has changed. You also have to make sure that the lover you choose has just as much to lose if not more than you. A single man has nothing to lose if your husband finds out, but a married man would. But then that elevates your transgressions to include an entirely different family. Can you live with that on your conscience? You have to be very discreet about your affair if you choose to have one. You can't risk being seen in places where you will be recognized. There is always the chance that your spouse's friends may be out one day and see you with your lover. What happens then? How will your spouse react once he or she discovers what you did? Is your spouse suicidal, homicidal, likely to take the children and flee? If you choose to have an affair, you will have to spend more money to travel to far away or private places. Or, you will have to spend all of your time indoors, which may be what you want in the first place.
Will you use protection?
This seems like such an obvious answer, but Maury Povich isn't famous for political interviews. The fact is, the average woman does not know when she's ovulating. Which means, if she is having sex without birth control or barriers, she will increase her probability of getting pregnant. How do you explain a pregnancy to your spouse? What if you're still having sex with your spouse, will you know who is your child's father? Will your lover cut and run the moment he discovers you're pregnant? The thing to remember is, you are having an affair. The lover you choose, may not feel the need for monogamy. Who are you to criticize? Your lover could bring home everything from HPV to AIDS. If you aren't using protection, you risk infecting your spouse and any unborn children. If you use protection with your lover that you normally don't use with your spouse, you will be discovered.
How will you handle an unplanned pregnancy?
There are a few choices. You can come clean to your spouse and keep the baby. You can come clean and choose adoption. You can have an abortion. You can lie and let your spouse believe it's his baby. Keeping the baby opens your whole family up to ridicule. Having an abortion, right or wrong, will have a lasting emotional effect on you. Choosing to allow your spouse to believe your lover's child is his own presents a number of issues. Your lover may want his child to be with him and his family. Your spouse may become suspicious and decide to ask for a DNA test. Your friends will be burdened with the decision to tell your spouse or remain loyal to you. Your child will grow up not knowing the true identity of his or her father.
My goal is not to sway your decision either way. But one must consider all possible consequences of their decisions. Only you know what the right decision for you will be.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Reclaiming Your Life From Time Bandits
One of the biggest complaints from my readers is the inability to manage their time. Some are overwhelmed with their full schedules. Others can't seem to figure out just how to manage a productive schedule. This is the common complaints of most parents. Time management is easy when you have a job. There is a supervisor over your shoulder micromanaging the job with which you were entrusted. But what about at home?
The first thing to do is to identify where all of your time is going. Clearly it isn't being spent doing what you need or want to do, or you wouldn't be searching for answers. I compiled a list of the most common Time Bandits based on reader response.
The Laundry
If you have your own washer and dryer, you are a victim of the a time bandit. The average person throws their laundry in the wash and walks away. They don't come back until they realize they need to put it in the dryer some time later. When that time comes, the clothes go into the dryer and again, the person walks away until they remember to go back which can be over an hour later. Then the laundry is shoved into bags or baskets and dumped on a couch or bed before the person goes to the next load. In some cases, the laundry either is folded and left out, or not folded at all. The whole family lives out of the laundry pile until the basket is needed for dirty clothes. So the cycle begins again.
The Solution
On Mother's Day there was a Mommy Dearest marathon. In one scene, Christina is in Joan's laundry room after returning from school. In the laundry room there was a table, chairs, magazines and snacks. This is actually how Laundromats began. "The help" would remain in the laundry room and wait for the washer and dryer to stop so that no time was wasted between loads. Laundry was immediately folded or placed on hangers to prevent the need to iron later. Then it was immediately put away. Yes, this is boring. But it saves a tremendous amount of time. What I do, I listen for the buzzers and set the timer on my phone. This way, I can get other things done without forgetting the laundry. I also have a folding station in my garage, available at Target. I gained about 4 hours by simply watching my laundry. Another tip is to hang up clothes in ready made outfits for adults and children. If you're ever running late, everything you need is on one hanger.
Mealtime
Read any recipe, watch any cooking show, and they will tell you the prep time for each meal. Sometimes it's five minutes. Other times it's 15 minutes. Multiply that by the number of meals you cook per day, per week, and you'll find your time bandit. Don't forget the clean-up after meal preparation.
The Solution
To save time and money, plan at least two meals that contain the same ingredients. You can make the same meal twice or two different meals. For example. I am making frybread tacos for dinner tonight. On Friday, I am making spaghetti and meatballs. Since I am already thawing out bison for the tacos tonight, I may as well use the other half of the meat to make my meatballs now. Come Friday, I'm simply warming up the meatballs and sauce, and cooking the spaghetti. A 30 minute meal, just became an eight minute one. Stick to meals that can be frozen at the prep phase or that has ingredients that will last the week. If you intend to take any food with you to work the next day, package it while you cook. Once you serve dinner, put away the extras while it cools. You'll not only save time, you'll also exercise portion control and expedite your clean up time. Do the dishes after your meal, but before you do anything else. You won't be in the mood to do it later. You'll wind up with double the dishes and half the time. Drink a cup of coffee after dinner to give yourself a boost of energy. Another tip is to buy simple breakfasts that can be microwaved or come ready to eat. Cold cereal and toast, instant oatmeal, Jimmy Dean meals etc. are all examples of quick breakfasts that will save time. If you or your family members are not much for breakfast, make your own Starbuck's protein boxes. Slice some apples and cheese. Add some walnuts and cranberries with whole grain crackers. Put them all in a small container. You and your kids can eat in the car or drop them in their backpacks until they feel like eating. A thermos goes a long way, literally. You don't have time or money for Starbuck's or any other coffee runs. Get a Keurig and take your coffee to go.
Bedtime
It's Sunday night and your kids need a bath, all of them. They all are refusing to bathe because they don't want to go to bed. You finally catch one of them and get him into the bath. By the time he's cleaned and in pajamas, you're exhausted and your back hurts but you may or may not have more children to bathe. This process, depending on the number of children you have, can take two or more hours. Your work extends beyond the bath due to the fact that you have to clean the tub out each time.
The Solution
First, infants and toddlers up to age three can be bathed together. That's at least one less bath. The same is true of children of the same gender and ages. However, the older they are, the less practical this is. In fact, if your child is in second grade or higher, teach him or her to take a shower. Set a timer so the next kid can get in the bathroom. When actually running the water for a bath, place your child in to soak. When you have just enough water to cover the lower half of your child's body, start scrubbing. Let the water out of the tub while you rinse. Clean the dirt out of the tub immediately. Remember, the goal is to bathe everyone quickly, not marinate in Calgon.
Morning Mayhem
Parents or not, many people tell me about how they look at the clock and have plenty of time to get to work on time, then they blink and they're late. Many have tried getting up earlier but wind up paying for it later. Parents tag team the kids, but one always ends up running late.
The Solution
Remember when you were a child, your parents told you to eat your vegetables first? The reason is because once you got through the stuff you didn't like, you could take your time and eat the stuff you liked. It's the same principle with your morning routine. You already know your children are going to slow you down. So start with them. Start by setting two alarms, one to break your sleep, another to make you get up. Wake your eldest child first. Get him in and out of the bathroom, which will be easy since he bathed the night before. Have him dressed in the clothes he laid out the night before or one of the outfits ready to go on the hanger. This is why the laundry solution is so important. Let him feed himself. While this is taking place, wake up the younger children and follow the same routine. By the time your eldest is ready to eat, depending on his age, he can serve his siblings. This is why the simple breakfast options in the mealtime solution is important. When everyone is ready to go, do the same for yourself. Kids love cartoons, let them watch them. It keeps them out of your face while you get ready. Kids also love telling parents what to do. Let one of your kids do the clock watching. Have him tell you the time every five minutes to keep you on track. Limit your morning prep time to ten minutes if you can. Make-up should be simple enough to be done in five minutes. If not, and you're not working, apply foundation and move on. You can finish your airbrushed look after taking the kids to school. I work, so I have a make-up kit at work for the days when I am running late. I apply my foundation at home, then go to work and apply my eye shadow, mascara and lip gloss. However, if you happen to be a morning person and don't need the snooze bar on your alarm, do this solution in reverse. Completely dress and prepare yourself before starting the child prep frenzy. But be advised, once the children wake up, they will be in your face.
There are many other solutions to your Time Bandits. Try these for a while and email me your results at : TheRedHousewife@yahoo.com.
The first thing to do is to identify where all of your time is going. Clearly it isn't being spent doing what you need or want to do, or you wouldn't be searching for answers. I compiled a list of the most common Time Bandits based on reader response.
The Laundry
If you have your own washer and dryer, you are a victim of the a time bandit. The average person throws their laundry in the wash and walks away. They don't come back until they realize they need to put it in the dryer some time later. When that time comes, the clothes go into the dryer and again, the person walks away until they remember to go back which can be over an hour later. Then the laundry is shoved into bags or baskets and dumped on a couch or bed before the person goes to the next load. In some cases, the laundry either is folded and left out, or not folded at all. The whole family lives out of the laundry pile until the basket is needed for dirty clothes. So the cycle begins again.
The Solution
On Mother's Day there was a Mommy Dearest marathon. In one scene, Christina is in Joan's laundry room after returning from school. In the laundry room there was a table, chairs, magazines and snacks. This is actually how Laundromats began. "The help" would remain in the laundry room and wait for the washer and dryer to stop so that no time was wasted between loads. Laundry was immediately folded or placed on hangers to prevent the need to iron later. Then it was immediately put away. Yes, this is boring. But it saves a tremendous amount of time. What I do, I listen for the buzzers and set the timer on my phone. This way, I can get other things done without forgetting the laundry. I also have a folding station in my garage, available at Target. I gained about 4 hours by simply watching my laundry. Another tip is to hang up clothes in ready made outfits for adults and children. If you're ever running late, everything you need is on one hanger.
Mealtime
Read any recipe, watch any cooking show, and they will tell you the prep time for each meal. Sometimes it's five minutes. Other times it's 15 minutes. Multiply that by the number of meals you cook per day, per week, and you'll find your time bandit. Don't forget the clean-up after meal preparation.
The Solution
To save time and money, plan at least two meals that contain the same ingredients. You can make the same meal twice or two different meals. For example. I am making frybread tacos for dinner tonight. On Friday, I am making spaghetti and meatballs. Since I am already thawing out bison for the tacos tonight, I may as well use the other half of the meat to make my meatballs now. Come Friday, I'm simply warming up the meatballs and sauce, and cooking the spaghetti. A 30 minute meal, just became an eight minute one. Stick to meals that can be frozen at the prep phase or that has ingredients that will last the week. If you intend to take any food with you to work the next day, package it while you cook. Once you serve dinner, put away the extras while it cools. You'll not only save time, you'll also exercise portion control and expedite your clean up time. Do the dishes after your meal, but before you do anything else. You won't be in the mood to do it later. You'll wind up with double the dishes and half the time. Drink a cup of coffee after dinner to give yourself a boost of energy. Another tip is to buy simple breakfasts that can be microwaved or come ready to eat. Cold cereal and toast, instant oatmeal, Jimmy Dean meals etc. are all examples of quick breakfasts that will save time. If you or your family members are not much for breakfast, make your own Starbuck's protein boxes. Slice some apples and cheese. Add some walnuts and cranberries with whole grain crackers. Put them all in a small container. You and your kids can eat in the car or drop them in their backpacks until they feel like eating. A thermos goes a long way, literally. You don't have time or money for Starbuck's or any other coffee runs. Get a Keurig and take your coffee to go.
Bedtime
It's Sunday night and your kids need a bath, all of them. They all are refusing to bathe because they don't want to go to bed. You finally catch one of them and get him into the bath. By the time he's cleaned and in pajamas, you're exhausted and your back hurts but you may or may not have more children to bathe. This process, depending on the number of children you have, can take two or more hours. Your work extends beyond the bath due to the fact that you have to clean the tub out each time.
The Solution
First, infants and toddlers up to age three can be bathed together. That's at least one less bath. The same is true of children of the same gender and ages. However, the older they are, the less practical this is. In fact, if your child is in second grade or higher, teach him or her to take a shower. Set a timer so the next kid can get in the bathroom. When actually running the water for a bath, place your child in to soak. When you have just enough water to cover the lower half of your child's body, start scrubbing. Let the water out of the tub while you rinse. Clean the dirt out of the tub immediately. Remember, the goal is to bathe everyone quickly, not marinate in Calgon.
Morning Mayhem
Parents or not, many people tell me about how they look at the clock and have plenty of time to get to work on time, then they blink and they're late. Many have tried getting up earlier but wind up paying for it later. Parents tag team the kids, but one always ends up running late.
The Solution
Remember when you were a child, your parents told you to eat your vegetables first? The reason is because once you got through the stuff you didn't like, you could take your time and eat the stuff you liked. It's the same principle with your morning routine. You already know your children are going to slow you down. So start with them. Start by setting two alarms, one to break your sleep, another to make you get up. Wake your eldest child first. Get him in and out of the bathroom, which will be easy since he bathed the night before. Have him dressed in the clothes he laid out the night before or one of the outfits ready to go on the hanger. This is why the laundry solution is so important. Let him feed himself. While this is taking place, wake up the younger children and follow the same routine. By the time your eldest is ready to eat, depending on his age, he can serve his siblings. This is why the simple breakfast options in the mealtime solution is important. When everyone is ready to go, do the same for yourself. Kids love cartoons, let them watch them. It keeps them out of your face while you get ready. Kids also love telling parents what to do. Let one of your kids do the clock watching. Have him tell you the time every five minutes to keep you on track. Limit your morning prep time to ten minutes if you can. Make-up should be simple enough to be done in five minutes. If not, and you're not working, apply foundation and move on. You can finish your airbrushed look after taking the kids to school. I work, so I have a make-up kit at work for the days when I am running late. I apply my foundation at home, then go to work and apply my eye shadow, mascara and lip gloss. However, if you happen to be a morning person and don't need the snooze bar on your alarm, do this solution in reverse. Completely dress and prepare yourself before starting the child prep frenzy. But be advised, once the children wake up, they will be in your face.
There are many other solutions to your Time Bandits. Try these for a while and email me your results at : TheRedHousewife@yahoo.com.
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Passive Aggressive Counterattacks: Getting Even at the Office
As D. L. Hughley once said, "Everybody got somebody working at they job that's this close to you whoopin' they ass."
There are a multitude of reasons to want revenge. Most of them are because you can't legally put your hands on someone and keep your job or even a clean criminal record. Since the very first job, there was a brown-noser, a rat, and a thunder-stealer. No matter what their offense, they are offending you. The reason these people exist at your job is always management. Management is the deciding factor when it comes to taking disciplinary action against these people, but they rarely do. The reason is that management is getting something out of keeping that person on the payroll.
Managers never fire the rat of the office because the rat is providing information. The rat also never gets promoted above the manager because they are too valuable as the rat. The brown-noser is never terminated because he or she is too nice to possibly have done anything wrong. They also will never be promoted above the manager because the manager needs the constant ego boost.The thunder-stealer takes all the glory resulting from the hard work of others. Therefore, the thunder-stealer will always appear to be more successful than he or she is in reality.
So what can you do? You can't afford to quit or act a fool. Still, you really want to get even with this person. Here are some passive aggressive ways to get even, that were submitted by my readers.
1. Something's Fishy - Save the water from thawed out shrimp or fish. Pour it into a disposable coffee cup and sprinkle it on the carpet around the target's desk. The target will never be able to find the smell and everyone will avoid them as a result. This will not work if you share the same workspace however.
2. Laugh it off - Whenever that person enters a room, laugh. Whenever you see that person, chuckle. We're not talking hysterically, just enough to make that person notice. We've all been in the situation when we happen to enter a room when people are laughing. We are left to wonder if we were the butt of a joke. The target will begin to ask everyone if they are the target of gossip. Since they are not, the target will appear paranoid and will be avoided. Isolation can be the best revenge.
3. Porn star - If anyone has ever purchased even one item from an adult website, they are aware of all the residual mail that follows. If you order Playgirl or Playboy, expect mail from Trojan and Adam and Eve. So, place an order or request a catalogue from an adult entertainment company in the target's name. Send it to the office. The employee will have a very difficult time trying to explain the mail and the deliveries. If you choose this option, you cannot use your own credit card or Paypal account. You can also subscribe their work email to porn sites. If you just "happen" to walk by their desk as they're deleting the emails you can make a small scene about it. "What the heck are you reading?" The target will always wonder if you will report it. You just might.
4. Flaunt it - The reason these people are so impossible is because they are unhappy with their own lives. Find out why in whatever way you see fit, and exploit them. I once worked at an office with a woman who could not have children. She tormented a coworker of mine by lying on her to get her into trouble. Despite my intervention and the interjections of other employee witnesses, the manager always took the woman's side. So, one day, my coworker came to work with pictures from her pregnancy and her children's infancy. She spread them out on the lunch table and asked us all to share in her happy memories. We did, completely unaware that her goal was to rub it in the woman's face. It was cruel but immensely effective.
Currently, there is an office rat I work with that no one likes. She also has a self-diagnosed weight problem. So, two of my coworkers banded together to make her feel horrible. They flaunt their weight loss and even embellish it. They wear body shapers and other clothing to create the illusion that they lost more weight than they had. Their target never leaves her office now, which is exactly what everyone wanted in the first place.
5. Kill 'em with kindness - This is less about your own karma and more so about revenge. When someone is treating you horribly and you don't react, you take on the image of the innocent victim. The person gets comfortable with their unchecked behavior and eventually take it too far. So let that person say inappropriate things to you, document it and the names of all of the witnesses. No matter what, smile and be polite. When you've taken all you can, don't go the manager that's in the target's pocket. Go to the next level of supervisors. Report the target for harassment and the manager for discrimination. If you have been reporting the target's behavior and nothing has been done about it, the manager is now just as guilty. The manager is not likely to be terminated or reprimanded, but the spotlight will be on them from now on. Not only will the target leave you alone, but the manager won't be so quick to defend them either.
There are many more ways to get even. There are entire websites devoted to the idea. But in my opinion, the best thing to do is to focus on your own life. They're goal is to upset you, steal your thunder, isolate you. They will succeed if you're walking around the office upset, complaining, and focusing on how to get even. Happiness and success is the best revenge. Focus on your own relationships, physical and mental health, and work performance. One day, you'll look up and realize that your life is so much better than your target's. You may even find that you feel sorry for that person. Empathy looks better than vengeance any day.
There are a multitude of reasons to want revenge. Most of them are because you can't legally put your hands on someone and keep your job or even a clean criminal record. Since the very first job, there was a brown-noser, a rat, and a thunder-stealer. No matter what their offense, they are offending you. The reason these people exist at your job is always management. Management is the deciding factor when it comes to taking disciplinary action against these people, but they rarely do. The reason is that management is getting something out of keeping that person on the payroll.
Managers never fire the rat of the office because the rat is providing information. The rat also never gets promoted above the manager because they are too valuable as the rat. The brown-noser is never terminated because he or she is too nice to possibly have done anything wrong. They also will never be promoted above the manager because the manager needs the constant ego boost.The thunder-stealer takes all the glory resulting from the hard work of others. Therefore, the thunder-stealer will always appear to be more successful than he or she is in reality.
So what can you do? You can't afford to quit or act a fool. Still, you really want to get even with this person. Here are some passive aggressive ways to get even, that were submitted by my readers.
1. Something's Fishy - Save the water from thawed out shrimp or fish. Pour it into a disposable coffee cup and sprinkle it on the carpet around the target's desk. The target will never be able to find the smell and everyone will avoid them as a result. This will not work if you share the same workspace however.
2. Laugh it off - Whenever that person enters a room, laugh. Whenever you see that person, chuckle. We're not talking hysterically, just enough to make that person notice. We've all been in the situation when we happen to enter a room when people are laughing. We are left to wonder if we were the butt of a joke. The target will begin to ask everyone if they are the target of gossip. Since they are not, the target will appear paranoid and will be avoided. Isolation can be the best revenge.
3. Porn star - If anyone has ever purchased even one item from an adult website, they are aware of all the residual mail that follows. If you order Playgirl or Playboy, expect mail from Trojan and Adam and Eve. So, place an order or request a catalogue from an adult entertainment company in the target's name. Send it to the office. The employee will have a very difficult time trying to explain the mail and the deliveries. If you choose this option, you cannot use your own credit card or Paypal account. You can also subscribe their work email to porn sites. If you just "happen" to walk by their desk as they're deleting the emails you can make a small scene about it. "What the heck are you reading?" The target will always wonder if you will report it. You just might.
4. Flaunt it - The reason these people are so impossible is because they are unhappy with their own lives. Find out why in whatever way you see fit, and exploit them. I once worked at an office with a woman who could not have children. She tormented a coworker of mine by lying on her to get her into trouble. Despite my intervention and the interjections of other employee witnesses, the manager always took the woman's side. So, one day, my coworker came to work with pictures from her pregnancy and her children's infancy. She spread them out on the lunch table and asked us all to share in her happy memories. We did, completely unaware that her goal was to rub it in the woman's face. It was cruel but immensely effective.
Currently, there is an office rat I work with that no one likes. She also has a self-diagnosed weight problem. So, two of my coworkers banded together to make her feel horrible. They flaunt their weight loss and even embellish it. They wear body shapers and other clothing to create the illusion that they lost more weight than they had. Their target never leaves her office now, which is exactly what everyone wanted in the first place.
5. Kill 'em with kindness - This is less about your own karma and more so about revenge. When someone is treating you horribly and you don't react, you take on the image of the innocent victim. The person gets comfortable with their unchecked behavior and eventually take it too far. So let that person say inappropriate things to you, document it and the names of all of the witnesses. No matter what, smile and be polite. When you've taken all you can, don't go the manager that's in the target's pocket. Go to the next level of supervisors. Report the target for harassment and the manager for discrimination. If you have been reporting the target's behavior and nothing has been done about it, the manager is now just as guilty. The manager is not likely to be terminated or reprimanded, but the spotlight will be on them from now on. Not only will the target leave you alone, but the manager won't be so quick to defend them either.
There are many more ways to get even. There are entire websites devoted to the idea. But in my opinion, the best thing to do is to focus on your own life. They're goal is to upset you, steal your thunder, isolate you. They will succeed if you're walking around the office upset, complaining, and focusing on how to get even. Happiness and success is the best revenge. Focus on your own relationships, physical and mental health, and work performance. One day, you'll look up and realize that your life is so much better than your target's. You may even find that you feel sorry for that person. Empathy looks better than vengeance any day.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Ten Movies That Never Should Have Been Remade
Carrie
It has been remade into obliteration and even spawned sequels. The reason this movie can never be outdone is that the original is timeless. Although the original shock and horror of the film are non-existent, all other issues continue today. There is a mother who possibly has a mental or emotional disorder, a bullied teenager, a group of mean girls, and a painfully complacent group of adults. This movie continues to show that not much has changed in our society as it continues to be relevant in regards to human behavior.
Rosemary's Baby
Let's face it, no horror movie should ever be remade. This is especially true of horror classics. Part of the appeal of Rosemary's Baby is implication. We never actually see anything which is the appeal of the original film. Was this her imagination? Where the people around her really up to something? The most important part of the film is the time period in which it was written. At the time of this film, pregnant women were still treated like disabled toddlers. Husband's spoke for them and no one could even spell HIPPA. Today, if a pregnant woman says, "I want to move out of this building" the family moves out of the building. Pregnant women today have far more power than pregnant women at the release of Rosemary's Baby. This is what made the film so frightening. The possibility of the same situation happening to the viewer makes the film. Remaking it, makes it completely unbelievable.
The Imitation of Life
I'm not sure why this was remade at all. In fact, both versions are so nearly identical, when I purchased them on DVD, I hadn't realized I was watching two different versions. The story is heartbreaking and disturbing. It need not be remade. The acting could not have been improved upon. It was an instant classic.
Steel Magnolias
I have never been a fan of "Black remakes." It's when a studio decides that a movie would be better if there were Black people in it. It takes away from the actual story. I watched the remake of Steel Magnolias on Lifetime, and spent the entire time comparing it to the original. I couldn't enjoy the actual film. What if there was a white version of The Color Purple or Harlem Nights? It would be just as pointless. Race should never be the motivating factor in producing a remake.
Let The Right One In
This foreign film was easy to follow and thoroughly effective. The remake lost the sentiment, the mood, the depth that the original had. Of course the actors were engaging, but there was no need to remake the film.
Single White Female
Again this movie was timeless, with the exception of placing a want ad in the paper. The only update this movie needed was an ad on Craigslist, and a pixie cut rather than the mushroom cut the actress wore. The idea that someone would attempt to replace you by actually becoming you is utterly bone chilling no matter when the film was made.
Fatal Attraction
I realize the irony in this selection. Fatal Attraction was based on Play Misty for Me. Each film is timelessly terrifying in its own way. Still, someone decided to remake Fatal Attraction with Idris Elba and Beyoncé Knowles. Why? They added nothing, they improved nothing.
Hairspray
My sister-in-law loved this remake. It was entertaining in its own right. But the focus was placed on the fact that John Travolta was in drag and the long line of celebrities in the film. The original came from the great filmmaker John Waters. At that time, we all expected him to have a drag queen in the movie. The fact that there was a certified drag queen, Divine, in the film made it easier to focus on the content rather than the stars. Ironically, the actors in the film went on to be even more famous. One whom being Ricki Lake.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Wes Craven got it right the first time. In fact, he did it so well, the highest grossing films in the franchise were made by Wes Craven. The remake of this film was so terrible, I fell asleep. It was a ridiculous waste of money.
Halloween
Again, classic horror films should never be remade. But trying to update them by adding a rape scene, gratuitous sex, and a docile female lead is practically an abomination. Granted, the new Michael Meyers was far more terrifying. The acts of violence were more entertaining. But I would have paid more money to delete the rape scene and to bring in Jamie Lee Curtis again.
It has been remade into obliteration and even spawned sequels. The reason this movie can never be outdone is that the original is timeless. Although the original shock and horror of the film are non-existent, all other issues continue today. There is a mother who possibly has a mental or emotional disorder, a bullied teenager, a group of mean girls, and a painfully complacent group of adults. This movie continues to show that not much has changed in our society as it continues to be relevant in regards to human behavior.
Rosemary's Baby
Let's face it, no horror movie should ever be remade. This is especially true of horror classics. Part of the appeal of Rosemary's Baby is implication. We never actually see anything which is the appeal of the original film. Was this her imagination? Where the people around her really up to something? The most important part of the film is the time period in which it was written. At the time of this film, pregnant women were still treated like disabled toddlers. Husband's spoke for them and no one could even spell HIPPA. Today, if a pregnant woman says, "I want to move out of this building" the family moves out of the building. Pregnant women today have far more power than pregnant women at the release of Rosemary's Baby. This is what made the film so frightening. The possibility of the same situation happening to the viewer makes the film. Remaking it, makes it completely unbelievable.
The Imitation of Life
I'm not sure why this was remade at all. In fact, both versions are so nearly identical, when I purchased them on DVD, I hadn't realized I was watching two different versions. The story is heartbreaking and disturbing. It need not be remade. The acting could not have been improved upon. It was an instant classic.
Steel Magnolias
I have never been a fan of "Black remakes." It's when a studio decides that a movie would be better if there were Black people in it. It takes away from the actual story. I watched the remake of Steel Magnolias on Lifetime, and spent the entire time comparing it to the original. I couldn't enjoy the actual film. What if there was a white version of The Color Purple or Harlem Nights? It would be just as pointless. Race should never be the motivating factor in producing a remake.
Let The Right One In
This foreign film was easy to follow and thoroughly effective. The remake lost the sentiment, the mood, the depth that the original had. Of course the actors were engaging, but there was no need to remake the film.
Single White Female
Again this movie was timeless, with the exception of placing a want ad in the paper. The only update this movie needed was an ad on Craigslist, and a pixie cut rather than the mushroom cut the actress wore. The idea that someone would attempt to replace you by actually becoming you is utterly bone chilling no matter when the film was made.
Fatal Attraction
I realize the irony in this selection. Fatal Attraction was based on Play Misty for Me. Each film is timelessly terrifying in its own way. Still, someone decided to remake Fatal Attraction with Idris Elba and Beyoncé Knowles. Why? They added nothing, they improved nothing.
Hairspray
My sister-in-law loved this remake. It was entertaining in its own right. But the focus was placed on the fact that John Travolta was in drag and the long line of celebrities in the film. The original came from the great filmmaker John Waters. At that time, we all expected him to have a drag queen in the movie. The fact that there was a certified drag queen, Divine, in the film made it easier to focus on the content rather than the stars. Ironically, the actors in the film went on to be even more famous. One whom being Ricki Lake.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Wes Craven got it right the first time. In fact, he did it so well, the highest grossing films in the franchise were made by Wes Craven. The remake of this film was so terrible, I fell asleep. It was a ridiculous waste of money.
Halloween
Again, classic horror films should never be remade. But trying to update them by adding a rape scene, gratuitous sex, and a docile female lead is practically an abomination. Granted, the new Michael Meyers was far more terrifying. The acts of violence were more entertaining. But I would have paid more money to delete the rape scene and to bring in Jamie Lee Curtis again.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Ending the Cycle of Obectification
To better understand the topic on which I am speaking, I recommend watching Misrepresentation on Netflix. It is a documentary that chronicles the objectification of women in the media. It does an excellent job of disillusioning the viewer from believing that the images of women in the media is simply the media corporation giving the people what they want. The very first quote of the film that is displayed across the screen is from Alice Walker.
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
Many parents today seem to be of the belief that there is nothing they can do to keep certain images away from their children. They believe that at some point, the objectification of women is inevitable. Others seem to be oblivious to the reality of just how these images are making their way into their lives. Upon viewing the film, I was instantly proud of my parenting skills. I let my husband know right away, that we have done an effective job, albeit by accident, shielding our children from those negative images.
I can't remember the last time I watched a music video. I only know that for a fact, I have not seen one since I found out I was pregnant with my now eight year old. I remember thinking as a young, wild, college student, that music videos of all genres were dangerously close to porn. I remember feeling inadequate as a beautiful and intelligent young woman. I remember thinking that my roommates had degraded themselves on a Los Angeles club dance floor, and for what? They reminded me of a quote from the character Ronnie in the 1998 movie The Player's Club.
"Sometimes, they be making you work too hard for that lil' ten dollars. They be wanting you to do too much. 'C'mon, bend over, spread your legs, bankhead bounce for me.' What?? all that for $10??"
I made a conscious decision not to watch music videos or movies that objectified women. But I was not 100% successful. The things I did not remove from my life remained because I too was brainwashed into believing it was normal. Still, my eight year old son has never seen a music video. He has never seen his mother dressed inappropriately, the he has seen a few brief moments of affection that were not intended for his swift prying eyes. As a result, when we see a woman inappropriately dressed, he diverts his eyes. In his mind, she's naked. When a love scene comes on, he leaves the room. He has never been prompted to do so. Of all of my son's transgressions, cursing has never been one of them. A unique personality trait all his own. But the word "bitch" has never left his lips. Interestingly enough, my son knows the difference between nude art and nudity to sell ads.
A friend of mine was terminated from her job due to a black and white topless photo. The interesting thing about the photo, is that you can't tell the women are topless. They could have been wearing tube tops for all we know. This was immoral and grounds for termination. My son saw the same picture and said, "See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil." He then took note of the fact that it was on a page for full figured women. He had come to recognize this friend as the face online that seeks to have all women treated equally among themselves as well as among men.
I showed him an image of Kate Moss, black and white, nude. It was an ad for Obsession. He turned away. When questioned about his reaction, she answered, "She doesn't need to be naked to sell cologne. Why isn't there a man there? Cologne is for men anyway." I'll say it again, my son is eight.
My three year old daughter is another story. She too has never seen a music video, but her favorite Disney character, second to Eeyore is Tinkerbell. You remember Tinkerbell, mini-dress, servant to boys. In fact, all of her favorite Disney princesses are in movies where the main objective is to get a man. How could I have missed this? Perhaps it is because I was busy cheering for the evil queens whom I was convinced were bullied and misunderstood. I once told my daughter, "Maleficient isn't bad. She's fed up, fed up with being treated like a second class citizen." So maybe there is some hope that at least, my daughter won't think of the less pretty villains as villains at all.
To be clear, I am not a revolutionary. I am simply a mother who intends to ends the cycle of objectification in my family. Yes, I wear make-up and have competed in pageants. But I make it very clear, that I wear the make up as a form of self expression rather than a need. I competed in pageants as a way to prove to myself that I could be both beautiful and smart and be admired for both. I didn't have to choose to be one or the other. But I refuse to allow my son to believe that women exist purely for visual and sexual gratification. I want my son to choose a mate based on her intellectual, emotional, and spiritual well-being rather than how well she can twerk. I want my son to be able to guide his sister as they step off into the world together, without their parents. I want her to choose her mate based on the same merits upon which her brother chooses his mate. I want her to know that she is free to dress in anyway that makes her happy but to be aware of the message some attire sends when worn at inappropriate times.By emphasizing equality, I hope to empower both my son and my daughter.
Here are some small ways to begin to end the cycle of objectification of women in your family.
Block music videos on your cable or satellite system.
Change the radio station in the car when sexually suggestive songs come on.
Ask your teenagers what they want to have happen on their date.
If they want to get to know the person, is his or her attire a distraction from what they are saying?
If they want to be seen as more than an "easy lay" are they prepared to say "no" when his or her date makes a move?
Ask your teenager why he or she chose their date in the first place.
Go without make-up on weekends or at least once a week to show that it is not necessary to be considered beautiful.
Don't watch entertainment news programs or stations such as E!, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight etc. When Good Morning America or other news programs begin to report gossip, change the channel. Say out loud, "That's not news."
When a news anchor or weather person is inappropriately dressed, change the channel.
Keep your scrutiny of other women's make-up and clothing to yourself. If you're judging, they're judging.
Don't watch demeaning or demoralizing reality shows that thrive on "catfights" or objectify women. These would be shows like Scandal, Basketball Wives, Real Housewives, The Bachelor etc.
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."
Many parents today seem to be of the belief that there is nothing they can do to keep certain images away from their children. They believe that at some point, the objectification of women is inevitable. Others seem to be oblivious to the reality of just how these images are making their way into their lives. Upon viewing the film, I was instantly proud of my parenting skills. I let my husband know right away, that we have done an effective job, albeit by accident, shielding our children from those negative images.
I can't remember the last time I watched a music video. I only know that for a fact, I have not seen one since I found out I was pregnant with my now eight year old. I remember thinking as a young, wild, college student, that music videos of all genres were dangerously close to porn. I remember feeling inadequate as a beautiful and intelligent young woman. I remember thinking that my roommates had degraded themselves on a Los Angeles club dance floor, and for what? They reminded me of a quote from the character Ronnie in the 1998 movie The Player's Club.
"Sometimes, they be making you work too hard for that lil' ten dollars. They be wanting you to do too much. 'C'mon, bend over, spread your legs, bankhead bounce for me.' What?? all that for $10??"
I made a conscious decision not to watch music videos or movies that objectified women. But I was not 100% successful. The things I did not remove from my life remained because I too was brainwashed into believing it was normal. Still, my eight year old son has never seen a music video. He has never seen his mother dressed inappropriately, the he has seen a few brief moments of affection that were not intended for his swift prying eyes. As a result, when we see a woman inappropriately dressed, he diverts his eyes. In his mind, she's naked. When a love scene comes on, he leaves the room. He has never been prompted to do so. Of all of my son's transgressions, cursing has never been one of them. A unique personality trait all his own. But the word "bitch" has never left his lips. Interestingly enough, my son knows the difference between nude art and nudity to sell ads.
A friend of mine was terminated from her job due to a black and white topless photo. The interesting thing about the photo, is that you can't tell the women are topless. They could have been wearing tube tops for all we know. This was immoral and grounds for termination. My son saw the same picture and said, "See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil." He then took note of the fact that it was on a page for full figured women. He had come to recognize this friend as the face online that seeks to have all women treated equally among themselves as well as among men.
I showed him an image of Kate Moss, black and white, nude. It was an ad for Obsession. He turned away. When questioned about his reaction, she answered, "She doesn't need to be naked to sell cologne. Why isn't there a man there? Cologne is for men anyway." I'll say it again, my son is eight.
My three year old daughter is another story. She too has never seen a music video, but her favorite Disney character, second to Eeyore is Tinkerbell. You remember Tinkerbell, mini-dress, servant to boys. In fact, all of her favorite Disney princesses are in movies where the main objective is to get a man. How could I have missed this? Perhaps it is because I was busy cheering for the evil queens whom I was convinced were bullied and misunderstood. I once told my daughter, "Maleficient isn't bad. She's fed up, fed up with being treated like a second class citizen." So maybe there is some hope that at least, my daughter won't think of the less pretty villains as villains at all.
To be clear, I am not a revolutionary. I am simply a mother who intends to ends the cycle of objectification in my family. Yes, I wear make-up and have competed in pageants. But I make it very clear, that I wear the make up as a form of self expression rather than a need. I competed in pageants as a way to prove to myself that I could be both beautiful and smart and be admired for both. I didn't have to choose to be one or the other. But I refuse to allow my son to believe that women exist purely for visual and sexual gratification. I want my son to choose a mate based on her intellectual, emotional, and spiritual well-being rather than how well she can twerk. I want my son to be able to guide his sister as they step off into the world together, without their parents. I want her to choose her mate based on the same merits upon which her brother chooses his mate. I want her to know that she is free to dress in anyway that makes her happy but to be aware of the message some attire sends when worn at inappropriate times.By emphasizing equality, I hope to empower both my son and my daughter.
Here are some small ways to begin to end the cycle of objectification of women in your family.
Block music videos on your cable or satellite system.
Change the radio station in the car when sexually suggestive songs come on.
Ask your teenagers what they want to have happen on their date.
If they want to get to know the person, is his or her attire a distraction from what they are saying?
If they want to be seen as more than an "easy lay" are they prepared to say "no" when his or her date makes a move?
Ask your teenager why he or she chose their date in the first place.
Go without make-up on weekends or at least once a week to show that it is not necessary to be considered beautiful.
Don't watch entertainment news programs or stations such as E!, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight etc. When Good Morning America or other news programs begin to report gossip, change the channel. Say out loud, "That's not news."
When a news anchor or weather person is inappropriately dressed, change the channel.
Keep your scrutiny of other women's make-up and clothing to yourself. If you're judging, they're judging.
Don't watch demeaning or demoralizing reality shows that thrive on "catfights" or objectify women. These would be shows like Scandal, Basketball Wives, Real Housewives, The Bachelor etc.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Boob Rash: How to end it
There you are, minding your own business when an itch strikes under your breast. You rub your shirt or bra against the itch to scratch, but begin to notice a moisture you hadn't noticed before. You lift your clothes and discover a smell reminiscent of a breast milk leak, only sour. You go to the mirror and notice a shadow under your breast that begins to itch and burn when you lift your breast. Congratulations! You have boob rash.
It can be caused by an allergy to your detergent, lotion, or perfume. But it is most commonly due to your breast pressing against the skin just beneath it. This can strike both men and women. And believe it or not, your body mass is not always the contributing factor. Sometimes it's the bra you're wearing. If the bra rubs against your body or if the bra fails to offer adequate support, the end result is boob rash.
How to prevent it
Find the right bra size - If your bra size is a D cup or larger, you should replace your bras every 3 to 6 months. If your bra size is C or smaller you should replace your bra every 8 months to a year. Remember that a proper fit is crucial. Many women get excited when their old bra no longer fits and jump to the next cup. This is not always necessary. Weight gain usually results in a band increase, the number of your bra size. Full busted women may have a small band size, 32 or 34 inches but may have a need for a full cup, DD or FF for example. Getting the wrong cup size will cause boob rash no matter what size you are.
Wear the right style of bra - The best bra for D cups and larger are unlined or non-padded. Whenever possible, wear a breathable stretchy lace or similar fabric. It provides breathable yet sturdy support. Also look for bras that are specifically for full figured women. They provide better support and last longer than 6 months. They also provide more spacing between the cups to prevent moisture that occurs when your breasts are pressed together in regular bra. Regular and full figure bras are the same in size but designed differently for support and comfort.
Powder - I've seen many sites recommend baby powder or simple corn starch under the breasts. But based on the wisdom of women who have managed to avoid and recover from boob rash the only powder that works is Vagisil. They were very specific about which Vagisil powder, it is the fragrance free for sensitive skin version. Considering its intended use, I am not surprised.
Change your detergent - Using "free and clear" detergents should help considerably. But if you are already using it, switch to organic or environmentally friendly detergent. Also, add a cup of vinegar to your wash instead of fabric softener.
How to treat it
Stop the moisture - Deodorant is amazing in prevention and providing an early cure. Degree is the only deodorant that seems to work. Buy a travel size stick, not the gel, and toss it after the moisture and rash are gone. Stay away from gel, spray, and moisturizing deodorant sticks. These will exacerbate the problem.
Go Amazon - Go bra-less at home and in bed until it is cured. Bras tend to irritate the rash.
Hygiene - Think of your boob rash as a yeast infection, because that's what it is. When you get home from work or school immediately take a shower to wash away any build-up. If you don't have time for a shower, cleanse the area with a feminine wash.
Vinegar - There are dozens of treatments online that involve pastes, creams, and things that just don't smell good. there is one simple, quick solution. Vinegar. I prefer white vinegar but you can use apple cider vinegar if that's all you have. Grab a sterile cotton ball and soak it in vinegar. After cleaning and thoroughly drying the area gently rub the area with vinegar. If you have been scratching, IT WILL BURN. Fan the area to cool and dry it before applying the Vagisil powder. Do this once a day. After the first treatment, there will be no more itching or burning. After the second treatment, you should notice a drastic improvement in the color of the skin underneath the breast. Depending on how bad your rash is. It should be cured in 3 treatments. If there is no improvement by the third day, or if there is bleeding or weeping skin, see a doctor. Your rash has gone beyond topical treatments.
Remember that I am not a doctor and i am not giving medical advice. However, I have tested the home remedies and treatments online and narrowed them down to the ones that actually work. My friends have been wonderful guinea pigs. They wouldn't allow photos so here are some from the internet.
It can be caused by an allergy to your detergent, lotion, or perfume. But it is most commonly due to your breast pressing against the skin just beneath it. This can strike both men and women. And believe it or not, your body mass is not always the contributing factor. Sometimes it's the bra you're wearing. If the bra rubs against your body or if the bra fails to offer adequate support, the end result is boob rash.
How to prevent it
Find the right bra size - If your bra size is a D cup or larger, you should replace your bras every 3 to 6 months. If your bra size is C or smaller you should replace your bra every 8 months to a year. Remember that a proper fit is crucial. Many women get excited when their old bra no longer fits and jump to the next cup. This is not always necessary. Weight gain usually results in a band increase, the number of your bra size. Full busted women may have a small band size, 32 or 34 inches but may have a need for a full cup, DD or FF for example. Getting the wrong cup size will cause boob rash no matter what size you are.
Wear the right style of bra - The best bra for D cups and larger are unlined or non-padded. Whenever possible, wear a breathable stretchy lace or similar fabric. It provides breathable yet sturdy support. Also look for bras that are specifically for full figured women. They provide better support and last longer than 6 months. They also provide more spacing between the cups to prevent moisture that occurs when your breasts are pressed together in regular bra. Regular and full figure bras are the same in size but designed differently for support and comfort.
Powder - I've seen many sites recommend baby powder or simple corn starch under the breasts. But based on the wisdom of women who have managed to avoid and recover from boob rash the only powder that works is Vagisil. They were very specific about which Vagisil powder, it is the fragrance free for sensitive skin version. Considering its intended use, I am not surprised.
Change your detergent - Using "free and clear" detergents should help considerably. But if you are already using it, switch to organic or environmentally friendly detergent. Also, add a cup of vinegar to your wash instead of fabric softener.
How to treat it
Stop the moisture - Deodorant is amazing in prevention and providing an early cure. Degree is the only deodorant that seems to work. Buy a travel size stick, not the gel, and toss it after the moisture and rash are gone. Stay away from gel, spray, and moisturizing deodorant sticks. These will exacerbate the problem.
Go Amazon - Go bra-less at home and in bed until it is cured. Bras tend to irritate the rash.
Hygiene - Think of your boob rash as a yeast infection, because that's what it is. When you get home from work or school immediately take a shower to wash away any build-up. If you don't have time for a shower, cleanse the area with a feminine wash.
Vinegar - There are dozens of treatments online that involve pastes, creams, and things that just don't smell good. there is one simple, quick solution. Vinegar. I prefer white vinegar but you can use apple cider vinegar if that's all you have. Grab a sterile cotton ball and soak it in vinegar. After cleaning and thoroughly drying the area gently rub the area with vinegar. If you have been scratching, IT WILL BURN. Fan the area to cool and dry it before applying the Vagisil powder. Do this once a day. After the first treatment, there will be no more itching or burning. After the second treatment, you should notice a drastic improvement in the color of the skin underneath the breast. Depending on how bad your rash is. It should be cured in 3 treatments. If there is no improvement by the third day, or if there is bleeding or weeping skin, see a doctor. Your rash has gone beyond topical treatments.
Remember that I am not a doctor and i am not giving medical advice. However, I have tested the home remedies and treatments online and narrowed them down to the ones that actually work. My friends have been wonderful guinea pigs. They wouldn't allow photos so here are some from the internet.
Early breast rash due to sweat a yeast smell may be present. |
Advanced rash, a doctor visit is recommended. |
Healing rash |
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Goodbye Facebook: How to Phase Facebook Out of Your Life
It's the new year. It's time to say goodbye to more than just the previous year. More and more each day, people are beginning to permanently log off of Facebook. Many different reasons have been given to explain this mass exodus. After polling my readers, I found the most common reason to be age. Yes, age. Apparently, my readers feel that they have outgrown not only Facebook, but social networking in general. The second most common reason I was given was time. People began to notice how much time they were wasting on social networking at the year's end. Searching through their most active posts and photos left many feeling like they never logged off. The third most common reason for walking away from Facebook was over-sharing. One reader said she new it was time for a change when she began posting the funny comments her children were making during Christmas dinner, DURING Christmas dinner.
No matter the reason, departing from Facebook is definitely going to be a good decision. Just think, no more pesky alerts sending your smartphone into a short seizure. No more thumb cramps. No more speaking in hash tags or acronyms. You will once again become a fully functional human being.
Step 1: Make the Announcement
When I decided to step out of the line of drones, I realized that all of my friends and family were still shackled. Therefore, my much desired relationships would end if I shutdown my Facebook pages. So I decided to make a series of announcements. First there was the general post before the New Year's action. I posted a picture with a warning that the big day was coming. When the day came, I changed my profile and cover photos to help remind my friends and family that I was leaving. I requested everyone's contact information in the general post. Instantly, I received updated info. I also learned who my real friends were not. Anyone who doesn't want to keep in touch with you outside of Facebook is not worthy of your friendship let alone access to your family photos.
Step 2: Hunt Tags
You've been tagged in photos and posts galore. If you delete yourself before removing these tags, your photo and/or post will remain. By "untagging" yourself, you will trigger the question box that will inquire why you want to remove it. Mark the appropriate reason. If you don't find one that fits, mark the "Intellectual Property" option. This will force the person who posted the photo to provide proof that the photo belongs to him or her.
Step 3: Photo Bomb
Start downloading your photo albums and deleting them. Make sure they have been backed up on your hard drive as chances are, these are your only copies of original digital photos. If you don't delete your albums, Facebook will force you to delete each one before you can deactivate your account. Each time you choose to delete, you will be asked if you are sure you want to...repeatedly. If you have business pages on Facebook, be sure to repeat steps 2 and 3 for each business page, AFTER setting up a separate website. Facebook does not allow business pages without a personal account to which to link it. Convenient.
Step 4: Abstinence
Don't post ANYTHING. Don't "like" ANYTHING. This is perhaps the most difficult step. Just one comment or "like" will trigger a conversational relapse. If you like something someone said, call them and tell them. If it isn't important enough to tell them personally, it isn't important enough to comment on. Ask yourself, "Can I say this in person?" The answer will always be affirmative. If by chance it is not, then it isn't worth saying.
Step 5: Radio Silence
Your smartphone is equipped with alerts galore. Turn them off. Until you have received all of the photos and numbers you need, simply turn off any alerts. This prevents the knee-jerk reaction to check the app for that little red number telling you about meaningless activities. It also let's you see just how unimportant most of your notifications are. I left Facebook for 30 days. I came back to over 90 notifications. None of them were significant.
Step 6: Last Call
Contact the specific people you want to keep in contact with. Ask for either their emails and phone numbers as both can change. If comfortable, exchange addresses. This will e the last change for those laggers to stay in touch with you.
Step 7: Delete Account
Don't "deactivate" your account. Actually delete it. Deactivating an account simply places it on hold. To permanently delete your account, you have to choose that option. Facebook will offer to let you download all of your activity. However, the only way to access that information is sign back into your Facebook.
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