Sunday, January 4, 2015

15 Things I Don't Want To See On Facebook This Year

15. Your Ass

The only thing worst than seeing my revolutionary friends turn into hypocrites by posting photo after photo of women objectifying themselves is the endless number of women willing submitting themselves to this objectification. Once cannot protest rape culture while propagating it.
Facebook photo by Booty Factory

14. Your bathroom

Seriously, just stop it.  Buy a "Selfie Stick" and take the picture somewhere else if it's that deep.

13. Memes with mismatched photos and quotes

I've seen them all, from quotes on a Marilyn Monroe photo that she never said, to internet observations on an Abraham Lincoln photo. Seriously, use logic before you make these.

12. Fights between you and another person on Facebook

If I see one more person bragging about "I took bae from you" or any other form of a verbal altercation between to people on Facebook, I'm going to snap. Either take it to the streets or shut the Hell up. 

11. People in your friends list with whom you don't even speak

He lied to you. She told you the truth. You're not speaking to either of them but you haven't deleted them from your friends list. But you're constantly shouting about, "New Year, new me!" Either grow up and start a conversation or delete them. 

10. Pictures of your food

I know you think you're the best cook or your significant other, or your family member. But to the rest of us, that food you posted looks like crap. We don't want to hurt your feelings, but take the fact that there are no likes on your food photos as a hint. 

9. Pictures of you smoking weed

There's more to life than getting high. I don't care whether or not you partake. I do care when you post pictures of yourself smoking like a dragon with your adult child in the background lighting the next blunt or spliff. Come on now. Do better. 

8. Dead bodies - This is just wrong and disrespectful on so many levels. I may be a horror fan but I don't need that level of gruesome exposure in my life. 

7. Anything at all about your relationship

I don't mind seeing pics of you together in a moment of bliss. But I don't want to see the constant posts about your relationship or the endless cupcaking. The reason being, it'll be awkward for all of us when you fight or break up. 

6. Pictures of you in ethnic costume

I don't care if you're a 1/4 Lakota Cherokee African American Geisha. If you're buying a costume from the Halloween store to show off that heritage or to be the life of the party, you have just failed.

5. Pictures that prove your false happiness

So you're posting pictures of your new house, car, kids, and dog. But when I see you, it turns out to be your mother's house, your neighbor's dog, a rental car and your kids you haven't seen since that picture was updated. Just be honest with me. I'm already your friend. You don't have to pretend. 

4. Religious posts from people violating religious commandments

I don't care what religion you choose. I really don't. There is no "but" to that sentence. I do care that you proclaim that religion to the highest, while drinking, smoking, tattooing, or fornicating your way into Hell. For whom are you perpetrating?

3. Fat and skinny people bashing each other

One word...hypocrisy.

2. Porn

You can act like you don't watch it, but the moment that spam link you clicked on posts a copy of that porn video you attempted to watch, you're busted. I don't want to see it. Log off of Facebook before you watch it. 

1. The Revolution

This Facebook page should just be removed but the powers that be find no offense with the page. This page is littered with homophobic, racist, stereotypical, treacherous, riot baiting, and homicidal posts and followers. This page, among others should be removed from Facebook but there hasn't been enough outrage to coax Facebook into deleting the page.

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