So the press is reporting that Ricky Gervais will not be asked to host the 2012 Golden Globe Awards. Apparently his performance was so insulting that the celebrities being honored were quite offended. You know your girl Red would have something to say about this so here it is.
Dear Offended Celebrities,
I understand how upsetting it was to have a comedian tell jokes on your night of nights. I mean, a comedian telling jokes and making fun of people, really? That sort of thing is unheard of and someone really should give that Ricky a swift kick in the bum, as his people would say. The idea of someone not kissing the pampered rumps of millionaire movie and television stars is simply unacceptable. In an economy where people are losing their homes for as little as $1000, celebrities should be able to parade down a red carpet wearing hideous gowns that cost more than a default mortgage without being ridiculed.
We should be grateful and understand that this award show is televised for our benefit. We need to see the wasteful spending and gloating taking place at an event who's entire existence serves to praise pompous entertainers. True none of us picked the winners and therefore our opinions on best performance don't matter. True Ricky Gervais was only saying what we mere peons truly think of you anyway. But who is he to do so? Not only did he take license to express our discontent with your quality of work as of late but he actually had the nerve to edit out all of the foul names and hyena-like laughing that we use to express our feelings about your overtly publicized lives. It's almost as revolting as the massive amounts of money spent on this shameless display of wealth. I mean you all could have pooled your money and saved a neighborhood of foreclosing homes or saved a nation of closing food banks but that's not important. What's important are your feelings and how Ricky Gervais mercilessly battered them.
The Red Housewife.